The Beach Boys in the Winter

-by Scott Sullivan

This time of year I always listen to The Beach Boys. Their music exudes a warmth and youthfulness that is especially appreciated on cold winter nights.

My favorite is God Only Knows because it highlights the critical anabolic connection between the self and those in our community . . . our “life-team.”

I often think about the possibility that connection and positive relationships are a universal human value.

How about we all pledge in 2012 and beyond to spend more time showing gratitude to those people in our lives who help us to maintain, and even enhance, our sense of well-being and self-esteem?

Let’s get specific here: Who are the people in your life who build you up, who help you see possibilities where before you only saw obstacles, who challenge and engage you from a posture of mutual respect and love?

Here are mine:

Will
Never have I met a person with a more robust personal constitution, yet who is still curious about the world around him and those who live in it.

Neila
She has a reservoir of empathy so deep it sometimes overwhelms her, but no one on this planet gets me the way she does. Ours is a cosmic connection.

Tess
Her smile warms my heart and her voice makes it skip a beat. She cares about her family like no one I have ever known.

Larson
A person of deep passion and great gifts who is not afraid to speak his mind and to speak from the heart. I would not change one thing about him; he is a treasure.

These four people are my nieces and nephews. The youngest is 10 and the oldest almost 13! I was blessed with the opportunity to help raise each and every one of them .

So that leads me to four more people to acknowledge . . .

Their parents: John, Jill, JC and Stephanie. They are all related to me by common experience and challenges, and some by blood as well.

Finally I am grateful for Randa. She has all of the gifts of the eight mentioned above, and she is my best friend! Lucky ME!

My self esteem is inextricably linked to my community’s esteem and these eight people are one heck of a team to have on my side…THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Who would you like to thank for being a part of your community?

Do not be shy, post it here for all to read, you will feel amazing once you do…

New Year, New Who

-by Scott Sullivan (one of Velocity’s new extraordinary additions)

This time of year always makes me think of gifts, but not the kind that are wrapped with shiny paper and decorated with fancy ribbons (as FUN as those are to open!). As a life coach I constantly remind my clients that their strengths and gifts far outweigh their perceived weaknesses. The passing of one year to the next is a wonderful opportunity for us to reflect on our gifts. As I foray into the world of blogging each week, I would like to share with you personal and meaningful stories about my life in an effort to explore WHO I am. Together we will begin a journey that will help you define WHO you are and WHO you want to be…

My Gift

I have avoided airports for the past few years. In August of 2009, while waiting for a plane to take me from Tel Aviv to Boston, I discovered that my partner of ten years was in love with another man. You see, he had left me two months earlier but I had spent the entire summer attempting to reconcile. I fought, I battled…I cried every tear and felt the panoply of emotions that break ups seemingly force us to feel. I could not understand why anyone, why HE, would not want to be with me. Ten years of adventures was too much of an investment to squander. And then to find out it took him two months to fall in love again?

I started to think that there was something inherently wrong or broken about me.

When my connecting flight from Atlanta to Boston was about to depart that sultry summer day, I was faced with a life altering choice. Do I begin the process of moving forward and accept what I cannot change or do I return to our home in Budapest and fight for my man?

I chose to give up the self-loathing battle.

Instead I chose an internal self exploration and the emotional work of the past 2.5 years has now brought me to a fundamentally new level of self acceptance and understanding. I chose not to be with someone who did not want to be with me. I chose to build a strong but supple self esteem, tempered by years of breathtaking experiences, respected by innumerable acts of kindness, accepted as me, all of me, just the way I am.

Two weeks ago I faced my sad memory head on as I confidently walked through Reagan National Airport and onto a plane that took me to the ski slopes of Montana to celebrate the most amazing Christmas of my entire life with my family. Now I must be forthright, tears were running down my face (I am Italian-American and we do not just live life...we FEEL life). They were tears of absolute joy.

I have learned that love is not an investment, love is love, the most exhilarating of all the human emotions. I choose to love myself unconditionally.

My journey of self-love and self-embracing saved me from years of bitterness and self-loathing as I exposed myself emotionally to whomever would provide me with support and comfort. I would like to thank all of my friends, my family, my life coaches, my students and even my guardian angels in heaven for allowing me to grieve, to struggle, to temporarily capitulate, to experiment, to cry, and ultimately to live . . . boldly!

My gift this holiday season is ME, just the way I am… (plus some cool presents from my nieces and nephews).

What are your gifts and how do you choose to live in 2012? Who do you choose to be?

Watch my video...I would love to hear from you below or by email!

Gratitude

-by Matt Leedham

The other day, I was overwhelmed with a general sense of gratitude. I’ve learned why gratitude is so important, so I took a moment to think about why I felt so grateful. What was interesting is that my house, my car, and my “man cave” didn’t register on the list.

My gratitude was much more intangible…much more spiritual…much more connected to other people.

For example, I was grateful for:

• Having a life partner that supports me and makes me laugh
• My thirst for learning new things and my quest to “try out” new things I learn
• The experience of disconnecting and reconnecting with my brother after almost 20 years
• My love of writing and sharing ideas
• My in-laws for teaching me new things and welcoming me with open arms
• My fascination with travel, maps, food, culture, and world exploration
• My parents, my sister and brother in-law, and their kids for not judging my journey and supporting me along the way
• My dog for being kind and gentle, all while being very anxious (she reminds me of myself actually)

Only after I expressed gratitude for these things did I then begin to feel gratitude for material possessions. But I was not just grateful for my house. I was grateful for having a wonderful home to share with my wife as we build our lives together, and to be able to host friends and family for celebrations and holidays.

I was not just grateful for my car. I was grateful for having an accessible mode of transportation to get me around to see the people I love and do the things I love.

My man cave? Well, I was little grateful for my man cave. I mean, that thing is awesome!

But even that, after I let my ego chill out, turned out to be something more than just the material object. In fact, I am grateful that I have a comfortable place for my brother to stay when he visits.

I’m curious, what are you grateful for? Did you have the same experience I did?