Why charging for your services builds better client relationships

By Jaime Willis

Matt and I just returned from our final three-day coaching workshop. In just a few short weeks, we'll complete this journey and be certified coaches!

Each of these weekends is an amazing learning and growth experience for everyone there and this weekend was no exception.

In one of our many conversations, we began talking about someone's inner critic about charging clients for their coaching services. This gremlin shows up a lot, especially for women, and it isn't just about charging (or selling), it's about giving and saying no.

Giving your talents and skills away is a beautiful thing. When you offer to help someone else out -- you fix their computer, babysit their kids, drive carpool, cook a lovely meal, you feel great about yourself and you've really helped someone else out. Great, right?

In Guy Kawasaki's book Enchantment, he says that if you truly want to build a relationship with someone else, you have to give them the opportunity to pay you back. Think about this for a moment as the reciever. If someone keeps helping you out -- they've driven carpool for you once, then twice, then three times in the recent past and you haven't had a chance to "pay them back." How do you feel? Guilty? Reluctant to call them again? Sure, that's so understandable! You want to 'even up' the relationship before asking them for another favor, and if you aren't in a position to even up the relationship, it's really hard to stay in touch.

In energy levels, when you give something away, you operate out of Level 4 energy. Level four is a great, clean, constructive energy to be in. But what happens if you give and give and give? Slowly, you stop operating out of a Level 4 and you sink to a Level 2 or a Level 1, don't you? At first, you are happy to give, then you may feel angry (level 2) or taken advantage of (level 1).

image courtesy of lapiana.org

That's why Level 5 energy, the win-win energy, is higher than level 4. When you give from a Level 5 energy, it's a win for both parties. So both people feel great about the situation and both people enjoy the relationship. Giving at a level 5 doesn't mean that you can't ever volunteer again or someone should always pay you -- there are lots of ways to win-win. I remember going to volunteer at a nursing home in high school -- the residents there really enjoyed it when we came and sang for them. But it was really neat for us to sit down with the residents afterwords and hear some of the amazing stories about their lives. Win-win!

If you want to build a strong relationship with your friends, family, or clients, do it from a Win-win. When you charge for your services, you are allowing your client the gift of returning your favor. Stronger relationships are built when everyone wins.

Energy Leadership Index - The Assessment

-by Matt Leedham

We have written about different energy levels and Energy Leadership a lot in the last few months. But a lot of you still have questions about what Energy Leadership is and what the Energy Leadership Index is and how it can benefit you.

What is Energy Leadership?
Whether we accept it or not, we are all leaders. Some of us are leaders of billion dollar companies. Some of us are leaders of small, entrepreneurial businesses. Some of us are leaders in a department or team at work. Some of us are leaders in the community, or at home, or in your faith. And even if you don’t consider yourself a leader in any of those categories, you are most certainly a leader in the most important category of all: yourself.

You are definitely the leader of you…and you have a lot of important decisions to make. In fact, that is an important distinction to make. For the purposes of this discussion on leadership (or really any discussion on leadership), leadership = decision making. How you make decisions and choices essentially defines you as a leader.

Energy Leadership refers to your ability to lead with your energy. That is, harnessing your energy at different stages to make decisions that benefit you and those around you.

What are the 7 Levels of Energy?
The Energy Leadership Index is based on 7 Levels of Energy. Bruce Schneider, founder of the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching designed this model to describe how different energy can show up in our lives. Essentially, the 7 Levels focus on the Core Thought/Emotion/Action model. Let’s review the 7 Levels here. Below them is also the Energetic Self-Perception Chart.

To break the levels down into easy to understand language, let’s think of them in terms of winning and losing.

Level 1: I lose. Level 1 is victim energy -- think of Eeyore's "woe is me" attitude.

Level 2: You lose. This level is all about blame and anger. If something is wrong in my life, it's your fault.

Level 3: I win. This is the first level with more anabolic (constructive) than catabolic (destructive) energy. You take responsibility for your actions and you make stuff happen.

Level 4: You win. This is the quintessential "mom" level -- you want the best for others, so you will do whatever it takes to help them achieve.

Level 5: We both win. This level is all about opportunity -- no matter what the situation, you can find the opportunity in it and work to find the win-win for everyone.

Level 6: We always win. This level is all about the experience. It doesn't matter if it is "good" or "bad," the experience is worth the ride.

Level 7: Winning and losing are illusions. This is the highest level of consciousness, when you are connected directly to your higher power and are experiencing absolute joy.

What is the Energy Leadership Index?
The Energy Leadership Index (ELI) is an assessment that highlights how you perceive people, situations, and the world around you. The assessment measures 3 things:

1. Your current leadership potential (your ability to inspire yourself and others into action)
2. Your current level of engagement (how emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically engaged you are with what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with)
3. You current level of consciousness (your awareness of who you truly are vs. who you think you are or who/what you act like)

This assessment differs from other assessments in that it is an attitudinal assessment. Other assessments out there (e.g. Myers Briggs Type Indicator, D.I.S.C., etc.) are personality-based assessments. They are very useful at helping you identify your strengths and weaknesses so that you can best operate within those definitions to be effective. The ELI assessment is unique in that it is a snapshot of where you are today, how you view the world, and where you are spending most of your energy each day. The reason that this is so important is because you can change, or shift, your energy at any given time. Rather than being labeled or defined, this tool allows you to make informed choices about how to improve the way you perceive the world.

How is this Assessment Applicable to Me?
The ELI assessment is useful in a variety of scenarios, ranging from business to education to personal to non-profit to faith-based organizations.

Business: The ELI is useful to business leaders that want to shift their own awareness to have greater impact in the organization. The ELI is also useful with employees, particularly if you are trying to define or change the company/department culture.

Education: The ELI can assist education leaders and administrators that are looking to gain insight into how they can best use their energy in a challenging environment. The ELI can also be used with teachers that wan to bring higher levels of energy into the classroom, thereby having a significant impact on children.

Personal: The ELI can help you first understand with more clarity how you see the world around you and how you can use your energy to achieve more and be fulfilled.

Non-Profit: The ELI is extremely useful in shifting decision making for non-profit leaders that have limited resources.

Faith-Based: The ELI and the 7 Levels of Energy are very aligned with many of the teachings of traditional religions and can be used in conjunction with other spiritual constructs.

What are the next steps?
If you have questions about the Energy Leadership Index assessment, or think it might be useful for you or your organization, please contact Matt or Jaime for more information. We would love to discuss your needs and how this assessment might be the critical piece you need to make the shift you or your organization needs.

Rain, Rain, and More Rain

-by Matt Leedham

If you live on the East Coast of the U.S., you are likely drenched from head to toe. It has been raining for what seems like a week now. And this has not just been like an Irish mist that produces rainbows (and sometimes leprechauns), but more like Amazonian rainfall that washes small villages away.

Upon reflecting on the rain, I thought about all of the idioms, expressions, and metaphors about rain, and really love two of them:

When it rains, it pours

When it rains, you get wet

They’re so similar, yet have completely different meanings. The possible meanings actually multiply depending on your perspective.

Think of the Levels of Energy we’ve been discussing. How would someone operating at Level 1 view the expression “when it rains, it pours”? He or she might say something like, “there are so many challenges and things keep getting worse and worse.”

How about someone at Level 5? The response might be, “wow, the challenges are multiplying….what’s the best opportunity for me here?” Very different!

How would someone at Level 1 respond to “when it rains, you get wet”? The response might be, “darn it, every time it rains, I get wet!”

At Level 5? How about, “every time it rains, I get wet!” But there’s more… “How can I have fun with this?”

There’s another expression, not related to rain, that I think is beautiful.

It’s always darkest just before dawn.

That’s a very Level 5 way to look at things.

Many years ago, I found a humorous poster that poked fun at the expression above. Jokingly, this is a Level 1 way to look at darkness. Hope you get a kick out of it!

It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.

Your Energy Options

-By Jaime Willis

Matt and I are very excited to let you know that we are both now certified to administer and debrief the Energy Leadership Index Assessment (ELI). If you are interested in taking an ELI and want more information about pricing, please email us.

The ELI Assessment isn't like other corporate assessments (Myers-Briggs, DISC, Kolbe), in that it is an attitudinal assessment, not a personality one. When you get your Myers-Briggs, DISC, or Kolbe results, those results are yours for life, and your job is learn to work with your personality instead of against it to get what you want out of your life.

By measuring your attitude, energy, and level of consciousness, the ELI really allows you to understand your leadership potential, your personal satisfaction, and your awareness at the time you take the test. When you get your results back, Matt & I provide you with a full debrief of where your energy is currently. If you'd like to improve that energy, we can help you do that too.

Someone was asking me the other day to explain the levels of energy in more detail, so I came up with this analogy. Imagine you are going through your day, and your energy level is equivalent to the amount of light you have available to you. Let's look at how much light you'd have at each level of energy.

If you are operating with level one energy, your flashlight would be so dim, it would be hard to see anything, even things that were directly in front of you. As you go through your day, everything would seem harder – you would struggle to just make your way through the tasks required of you. You may see other people’s flashlights shine brighter and be sad that you got stuck with such a dim flashlight – bad things like this always seem to happen to you. You may blame yourself for getting such a crappy flashlight.

If you are operating with level two energy, your flashlight would be slightly brighter, but would occasionally blink on and off and may fluctuate between really dim and slightly brighter. Trying to get anything done with your flashlight would be infuriating, as you never felt like you could count on your flashlight to produce light when you most needed it. If you saw someone else with a bright flashlight, you’d be angry, wondering why they got a better working flashlight than yours. You may wonder who has it in for you, giving you such a crappy flashlight.

If you are operating with level three energy, your flashlight would be bright enough to light your path a few feet in front of you. You’d be happy to have a working flashlight, and go through your tasks with relative ease. But you might wonder what your life would be like if you could see even further with your flashlight. You may feel like you are just settling for what’s right in front of you instead of exploring the whole world around you.

If you are operating with level four energy, your light is a lantern – you can light up an entire room with your energy. You use your lantern to help light up the room for those you care about – you may provide light at your office and light up a common room in your house for your coworkers and family. Sometimes, you may wish that you could turn off your light and get some sleep, but you want to make sure that everyone who needs to use the light can, so you stay up until everyone else is done using your lantern. You feel great about being able to help light people’s way every day.

If you are operating with level five energy, your light is a huge spotlight. You can see the path in front of you for miles, and you are excited about traveling towards your destiny. You can see challenges in the path ahead, but your light gives you the opportunity to make the best of the difficult path. You are happy to help others and providing them light, so long as it doesn’t distract from your path in life. Lots of people begin following you, as your spotlight makes you a natural leader on your journey.

If you are operating with level six energy, your light is powered by a solar panel array. You can synthesize light from all different sources and use that to power your flashlight. If the day is cloudy, and you aren’t getting much light from your flashlight, you just appreciate the experience of living life in dim light. When your light is fully charged and bright, you appreciate the experience of living in complete brightness. You enjoy whoever and whatever comes your way, and are completely happy with the ups and downs of your flashlight’s light.

If you are operating with level seven energy, your light is as bright as a sun. Your light is literally exploding with creation as your sunlight lights the entire world around you. You are able to enjoy every single person and experience that is awash in your light, but may find it difficult to connect to individuals on a personal level, as your light is almost too bright for one person alone to experience.


In reality, you are going to fluctuate between each of these levels all day long. The idea is that if you would be happier operating at a higher energy level, what things in your life and more specifically, in your attitude and awareness can you change to make operating at a higher energy level easier for you?

How's Your Energy?

-By Jaime Willis

"The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body is. The more efficient your body is, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results." -Tony Robbins

Through our coach training program, Matt and I have been learning a lot about how to be happier and more successful by raising our energy. I wanted to take time this morning to share a little bit of what we learned and how it's impacting my life.

When you break life down to it's smallest building blocks, we are all made from energy. Energy is what makes us and the entire world tick. In the book, Energy Leadership, by Bruce D. Schneider (read this book, by the way, it is excellent), Bruce posits that if we are all made of energy, then improving our energy is what we need to work on to have happier, more fulfilled lives.

Schneider breaks energy down into seven categories or levels, the higher the level you can operate in, the happier you tend to be in all areas of your life.

Chart courtesy of Bruce D. Schneider and iPEC Coaching.

To break the levels down into easy to understand language, lets think of them in terms of winning and losing.

Level 1: I lose. Level 1 is victim energy -- think of Eeyore's "woe is me" attitude.

Level 2: You lose. This level is all about blame and anger. If something is wrong in my life, it's your fault.

Level 3: I win. This is the first level with more positive than negative energy. You take responsibility for your actions and you make stuff happen.

Level 4: You win. This is the quintessential "mom" level -- you want the best for others, so you will do whatever it takes to help them achieve.

Level 5: We both win. This level is all about opportunity -- no matter what the situation, you can find the opportunity in it and work to find the win-win for everyone.

Level 6: We always win. This level is all about the experience. It doesn't matter if it is "good" or "bad," the experience is worth the ride.

Level 7: Winning and losing are illusions. This is the highest level of consciousness, when you are connected directly to your higher power and are experiencing absolute joy.

What is fascinating about these levels to me was learning that 85% of the world operates at Levels 1 & 2! How different would our community, much less our world be if we could all learn to operate at a Level 5 -- where everything is win-win? (As a side note, it is really difficult for mere mortals to operate at Levels 6 and 7 for more than a short period of time, so striving for a baseline Level 5 energy is the typical goal).

As part of our training, Matt and I each took Energy Leadership Index Assessments, which measure our baseline operating energy level. As someone who loves to help others, I was sure that my assessment would show that I was operating at a Level 4.

I was shocked to discover how much Level 1 and Level 2 energy that I still had in my life, and what a huge impact it had on my baseline score. Although I have a ton of Level 4 and Level 5 energy, it is being masked by self-pity and conflict. What a wake-up call!

When I got my results back, I was upset (Level 2 - ha!). I didn't want to believe that the test was accurate. Then I started to notice how quick I was to snap at others throughout the day, (Level 2), make a snide comment about a situation (Level 2) or lament the fact that the bus *always* shows up just before I cross the street (Level 1). Wow!

What is great about this process is that your energy level is not immutable -- you can change! Just noticing my energy levels has had a positive impact -- I am less likely to make snide or "woe is me" comments, and try to find the opportunity in each situation. I'm a work in progress (aren't we all?), but I am confident that when I retake the ELI Assessment in several months, my score will be dramatically different.

If you are interested in learning what your own Energy baseline is, contact us and we can give you additional information about completing an assessment and debrief.

LeBron's Energy Level

-by Matt Leedham

In case you’ve been living under a rock lately, LeBron James and the Miami Heat lost the NBA Finals to the Dallas Mavericks on Sunday night.

This is kind of a big deal if you remember the beginning of the season when LeBron both announced his choice to leave Cleveland and go to Miami via a nationally televised ESPN special called “The Decision,” and came out on stage like a rock star to swarms of Miami fans (see below).

Since the loss on Sunday night, LeBron has been quoted as saying that “...at the end of the day, all the people that were rooting for me to fail, at the end of the day, they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today." He also tweeted that “...right now isn't the time.”

Given what Jaime posted last week on energy levels, where do you think LeBron is at right now?

Here’s a quick refresher of the first three levels:

Level 1: Apathy. People at this level feel like a victim. Nothing is going right in their life, and there is nothing they can do about it. “I lose.”

Level 2: Anger. People at this level are in conflict. Everything is a battle, and they are determined to fight. “You lose.”

Level 3: Forgiveness. People at this level are able to take responsibility for their lives and begin to do the work they need to make their lives better. “I win.”

The first two levels are destructive. It is necessary to cross through Level 2 if you are at Level 1, but both levels are far less productive than Level 3. Moving to Level 3 from Level 2 is an extraordinary leap and usually has incredible results.

So, where is LeBron?

You guessed it. Depending on the moment, you will currently find him wavering between Level 1 and Level 2.

Where do the top performers (sports, business, humanity, etc.) hang out? Yep! Level 3. Think about guys like Jordan, Tiger, and Peyton. They are always taking responsibility for their performance so that they can learn from it and become better.

The good news for LeBron is that he's young, has many more years of basketball ahead of him, AND he can learn to think differently!

When you can shift your energy from that of a victim to that of a person who recognizes their role within the situation, you release the apathy and anger of an underperformer. It’s the first step of becoming a high achiever. Of course, there are actually 7 Levels of energy, so there is still much to learn after taking responsibility, but that’s the first step.

Are there areas in your life where you feel like a victim? Where you feel that you are the effect of life, rather than at the cause of it? Are you in conflict, constantly trying to win so that others lose (e.g. “I’m right, you're wrong, and now I feel better.”)?

If so, being aware of where you are with challenging situations is important. It can be difficult to see this within yourself sometimes, so this is another benefit of working with a coach. Take it from my personal experience of working with my own coach last year, it’s life changing to make an energy level shift!

Change Your Energy, Change Your World.

By Jaime Willis

What is your energy level right now? How are you showing up at home, work, or school?

I just finished reading a great book called "Energy Leadership" by Bruce Schneider, where he discusses the impact of both low/negative energy and high/positive energy in our lives and relationships.

In Bruce's book, he says that people have seven energy levels -- the first two are negative energy levels, and the other five are positive energy levels. What was shocking about his research was that he found that 85% of people are living in Levels 1 or 2 energy!

Take a look at the levels below:

Level 1: Apathy. People at this level feel like a victim. Nothing is going right in their life, and there is nothing they can do about it. "I lose."

Level 2: Anger. People at this level are in conflict. Everything is a battle, and they are determined to fight. "You lose."

Level 3: Forgiveness. People at this level are able to take responsibility for their lives and begin to do the work they need to make their lives happier. "I win."

Level 4: Compassion. People at this level are helpers. They want to make sure others are happy. "You win."

Level 5: Peace. People at this level are not just helpers, they understand that both parties can "win" and set up interactions so "We both win."

Level 6: Joy. People who can achieve level six look beyond the situation and can understand that each person is unique and that there are no challenges or problems, just opportunities. "Everyone always wins."

Level 7: Absolute Passion. People who achieve this level of energy reach a state of transcendence where they are connected directly with their higher power. These people understand that there is not such thing as winning or losing, we just are. "Winning and losing are illusions."

Think about a recent interaction you've had with someone that hasn't gone as well as you would have liked. What energy level were you showing up as in that interaction? What energy level were they showing up as? How do you think the interaction would have been different if you brought a different Energy Level to the table?

My boss recently had a difficult meeting with a contractor we use at work. The contractor had been so upset by past interactions, they had resorted to hiring legal counsel. In this interaction, my boss didn't show up at a Level 1 (Why do I have to deal with these people? I hate my job.) or a Level 2 (I am going to make them really pay for hiring those attorneys), he entered the meeting with a Level 5 energy (we can both win). He asked them to explain, in detail, what they were upset about.

As they explained, he realized that their interpretation of the situation was inaccurate. They believed that they were the underdogs and that they were being taken advantage of. What they didn't know is that they were one of the top three contractors for the year. When my boss explained this to them, they were shocked! That information took them from a Level 1 energy (we're victims) to a Level 2 (we want to fight to 'win' this).

When my boss informed them that their score for the year revealed them to not only be one of the top revenue contractors, but one of the top scored contractors, they were ecstatic. This shifted their energy from a Level 2 to a Level 3 immediately. Instead of my boss having a long, drawn-out, level 1 and 2 discussion with these folks, he was able to raise their energy out of negative and into positive and the rest of the meeting went exceptionally well.

How can you use this information to have better relationships and interactions today?