Small Steps for Big Changes - 10 Common Mistakes

-by Matt Leedham

Nearing the end of February, it is quite common to see the waning efforts of once excited and motivated people that had set big goals in January. What I have come to learn, both through personal experience and further research and study, is that we are not mentally strong enough to rely solely on willpower to make lasting behavioral change.

My suspicions were confirmed this morning as I stumbled across Stanford’s Persuasive Technology Lab. Through the science of Captology (Computers as Persuasive Technology), these guys study the influence that technology has on our lives. It’s quite fascinating stuff if you want to dig around to understand things like the Psychology of Facebook.

But what I found really interesting is this concise slideshow that shows us the 10 most common mistakes people make when trying to address behavioral change in the form of goal setting.

Quick Summary
Will power is hard to sustain. Rather, set yourself up with simple processes to rack up small wins. Recognize that the people, and things, and places you surround yourself with will affect your behavior. Focus on action, not avoidance, and make the changed behavior as easy as possible to do. Unfortunately, information isn’t enough to elicit action – we need triggers to set us in motion. Create SMART goals and actions. Being vague will result in your inaction.

And my personal favorite…

Don't assume that behavior change is difficult. If you can identify the right process, and put yourself in the right environment, you can make lasting, positive change in your life.

New Year’s Resolutions, part deux

-by Matt Leedham

It’s January 4^th. If you’re like many people I know, you’ve set one or more New Year’s resolutions. The problem is, only a small percentage of people actually achieve or complete their resolutions. I wrote about this fascinating phenomenon last month and you can read it here.

Having heard some of my friends’ and family’s resolutions, we can probably figure out why so many fail. Here are a few I’ve heard this week:

• Read more
• Eat better
• Better work life balance
• Exercise more
• Be nicer

These are nice dreams and desires, but I see red flags everywhere when I hear these. If anything, the resolutions above may be admirable pieces of a personal vision, which I am completely supportive of if they are in alignment with your personal core values. But as we know, to make the personal vision come true there is a critical step missing here. You must turn these resolutions into specific, measurable goals that you can work on. Read more about that here.

If that’s too much for you right now, let’s talk baby steps. At bare minimum, write down your resolution in as much detail as possible and review it daily, if only for a minute. Keep the resolution in front of you often – post it on your bathroom mirror, put it next to your bed, have it on your desk at work.

You can also use one of many web applications to help you. One simple app is Joe’s Goals. It’s free and you can give yourself a check mark on the days you made progress on your goal or resolution. It’s a great visual way to start or stop a habit.

Stay focused. Remember why you’re doing this. For your health, your family, your career and financial security, etc.

Happy New Year and here’s to a successful and prosperous 2011!

Be About It

- by Jaime Willis

"Don't talk about it, be about it."

I spent most of last week in Michigan enjoying the holidays with my family. Before I left yesterday to fly home, I spent some time at the hospital with my Grandpa, who was admitted earlier in the week for surgery to help alleviate some of the intense pain he has been living with over the past several weeks and months.

Grandpa was doing much better when I visited him, which was definitely a great way to end my visit. I had to chuckle to myself, though, when I read the "family notes" on Grandpa's whiteboard. "Don't talk about it, be about it," wrote my cousin. Even at 81, Grandpa can certainly use the motivation to keep fighting against the cancer that is ravaging his body.

Just like Grandpa, you can also "be about it." See if any of the below statements resonate with you.

I'm not sure what I want to "be about."

Are you having trouble seeing beyond your daily challenges and circumstances? Do you know that you aren't living the life you want, but aren't sure what you do want?

Focus on discovering your core values. When you can define what values are most critical to you and prioritize those values, figuring out what you want to do in your life becomes a much simpler process.

I just want to be happy.

You may already know what is important to you and know how you want to feel, but you don't have any idea of how to get there.

Focus on creating a vision for your future. We encourage our clients to write down an incredibly detailed 'painted picture' of your life three years from now. Starting with how you want to feel in the future, figure out what relationships, experiences, career paths, etc. will help you achieve those feelings.

I already have a goal (or several) in mind.

You can't "be about" your goals until your goals are SMART. There is a big difference between 'wanting to lose weight' and 'I will lose 20 pounds and 2% body fat by June 30, 2011."

Your goals should be Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, and Time-Bound (SMART). SMART goals give you a clear win and will allow you to start planning your route to that win.

I can't "be about it" because I don't have (time/money/support/courage).

You aren't alone! Lots of people fail to achieve their goals because of what they perceive as lack of resources.

In our class, we talk about the importance of priming yourself to succeed. We know you need to be emotionally ready to tackle the challenges you'll face in achieving your goals. We also talk about how to easily either get the resources you need to make your goal happen or work around the lack of resources. For our goal-getters, no challenge is too big to surmount!

I need help.

Well, you aren't the only one. We *all* need help in achieving our goals. Matt and I started Velocity because we wanted the opportunity to help people like you achieve your dreams.

We would love to have you join us at our upcoming workshop in Washington, DC on Saturday, January 8th, 2011. Sign up now using the coupon code "Goalgift" for 60% off our normal course tuition!

No matter where you are in achieving your personal goals, we know you can be successful! Join my Grandpa and "Don't talk about it, BE about it!"

New Year's Resolutions

- by Matt Leedham

It’s that time of year again. As New Year’s Day approaches, many of us are faced with the challenge of choosing (and hopefully sticking to) a New Year’s resolution.

But why do we do this? Why engage in this annual ritual?

The reason for setting resolutions on the first of the year has certainly evolved over the centuries, but a couple of things seem to be clear. The obvious is that the New Year represents a new start, a clean slate, and a chance to press the reset button. Our current interpretation of resolutions likely got its legs from religious traditions. Christians prefer to sacrifice a vice during Lent (e.g. chocolate, alcohol, TV, etc.) and from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur Jews reflect on wrongdoings and seek to improve themselves. Many other religions and cultures share similar traditions during their New Year and high holidays.

This is all very interesting, but how effective are New Year’s resolutions? I’m fascinated by this topic every year when the gym seems to be packed in early January, but empty again in late February.

Professor Richard Wiseman is behind Quirkology, a collection of many interesting studies into daily living. Three years ago, his team tracked over 3,000 people that set New Year’s resolutions, including the most common ones of losing weight, working out, drinking less, volunteering more, etc.

Alarmingly, while 52% of respondents were confident of success, one year later only 12% actually achieved their goal. Yikes!

What he found in his study (and what we have found coaching people on goal achievement) is that you are much more likely to be successful if you set specific, measurable goals that have a deadline. In fact, Professor Wiseman found that 22% of men were more likely to achieve their resolution if they engage in proper goal setting techniques. He also found that telling others about your resolution and seeking support from friends and family was another important factor toward achievement. Specifically, women were 10% more likely to be successful when reaching out to others.

We want you to succeed this year! Here are three things you can do to dramatically improve your ability to succeed this January and beyond:

1. Set specific, measurable goals, with deadlines and checkpoints.
2. Use your network and resources to achieve your goal.
3. Sign up for our Goal Setting Workshop this Saturday (December 11th) where we'll teach you all of this in greater detail!

Is it a Dream or Is It a Goal?

- by Matt Leedham

“Vision without execution is hallucination.” – Albert Einstein

Albert speaks the truth although it may seem a little harsh to the un-indoctrinated. A lot of us think we have big goals in life, but are they really goals? Or are they dreams? And what’s the difference?

Dreams are lovely to think about. In many ways, it’s your mind’s way of playing. Set it loose and your mind will wander aimlessly most of the time, or down some specific path of some idea or fantasy you have about the future. Day-dreaming about what could be isn’t a bad thing at all and certainly has its place in developing big plans for our lives.

But a dream is not a goal. Goals can be executed. Dreams may come true.

How do you turn a dream into a goal so that it actually happens? Start with defining the dream.

Dreams tend to be vague and open-ended. This happens because our creative mind can’t be bothered with the details at the time. It’s also scary to commit to something so grand. Dreams tend to sound like this…
1. I want to start a business someday.
2. I want to lose weight.
3. I want to own a home.
4. I want to travel the world.
5. I want to spend more time with family and friends.
6. I want to write a book.


Let’s define one of these dreams. I am passionate about travel, so we’ll start there.

Dream: I want to travel the world.

Exercise: Fast forward your life 5 years from now and assume the dream had come true. What happened, what did it look like? What would have to happen, specifically, for you to look back and say, “yep, that definitely happened…I traveled the world.” Be as specific as possible – paint the picture. Where did you go? How much time did it take? How many countries/cities did you visit? Was it one big 6-month trip, or 10 trips taken twice a year for 5 years? Were you with someone while traveling? Did you meet people, or try new things? What exactly would you have to do to feel like you reached this vision?

Now, let’s design a goal based on the definition you just gave this dream.

Here’s an example: "I will travel to 10 countries on a least 4 continents by September 2015 and meet at least one person in each country that I stay in touch with via FaceBook, email, or Skype."

Now that’s a goal! How realistic it is depends on you. Variables include your priorities (note: see our post on personal values), your finances, your family, etc. If the sample goal is not realistic for you the way it is defined above, then redefine it to fit your circumstances.

Don’t just dream it, achieve it!