By Jaime Willis
Happy Monday! I just got back from a very fun three days visiting some of my family, including my adorable nephews, 3 year old Landon and 2 year old Tate.
Visiting them (and, let's be honest, spoiling them!) reminded me of a recent article I read in the New Yorker about character. My brother and sister-in-law are doing a wonderful job of raising their boys, so I am confident that my "all fun - few rules" visits are not corrupting them too much.
But, as we all know, raising kids is both hard work and serious business. Some of the work of educators is ultimately devoted to finding ways to encourage the positive character traits of their students while also teaching them skills and concepts in reading, writing, math, history, and science.
Martin Seligman, a 'positivity psychologist' and Christopher Peterson, a psychology professor at University of Michigan, wrote a (possibly "the") book on character: Character Strengths and Virtues. In it, they outlines 24 immutable traits that they believe define good character. The New Yorker article follows two schools, KIPP, a urban charter school system filled with mostly low-income youth, and Riverdale Country School, one of New York's most prestigious private schools, in their pursuit of purposefully injecting character into the school curriculum.
What an interesting thought experiment!
I thought about my nephews -- how do you explain, teach, embody, and discipline a toddler in a way that consciously helps them build character?
Imagine this: It is one 'o clock on Sunday afternoon, at least 30 minutes past the time when the boys normally eat. We are getting an 8 person-tribe of family together at a local restaurant for dinner. We arrive at the restaurant hungry, only to learn that there will be a one-hour wait for a table. The adults grumble a bit, hit their smart phones for alternative restaurant choices in the area, and decide to wait it out. But the 2 and 3 year old only know that they are hungry. No only aren't they being fed, but they are wearing nice outfits and in the lobby of a restaurant where they can't crawl around on the floor playing with toys or loudly chasing each other around.
We are asking them to embody the character trait, as described by Seligman and Peterson, of Self-Regulation.
B.F. Skinner, the father of behavioral psychology, wrote of a similar experiment in his novel Walden Two. In it, children aged three and four were given a lollipop covered in powered sugar, so a single taste could be detected. They are told they will be able to eat the lollipop later if it hasn't been licked. The children quickly learn to conceal the temptation (hide their lollipop out of view) and to distract themselves with something else -- say an interesting toy or game. After a few lessons, the children are become adept at utilizing self control.
Back at the restaurant, I quickly pulled out my iPad and turned on a favorite show for the boys. They happily sat in the lobby watching the show until our names were called. Only when we sat down to the table did they remember they were hungry. The adults distracted themselves in conversation, and my sister-in-law even turned the waiting into a game -- each fifteen minutes we went we were "one lap" closer to the finish line.
Next time you are waiting in line or stuck in traffic, why not think of your circumstances as an opportunity to exercise a great character trait! After all, being upset or angry about things you can't change only serves to make you unhappy.
Happy Monday! I just got back from a very fun three days visiting some of my family, including my adorable nephews, 3 year old Landon and 2 year old Tate.
 |
| Tate, left, and Landon at the Pumpkin Patch. |
Visiting them (and, let's be honest, spoiling them!) reminded me of a recent article I read in the New Yorker about character. My brother and sister-in-law are doing a wonderful job of raising their boys, so I am confident that my "all fun - few rules" visits are not corrupting them too much.
But, as we all know, raising kids is both hard work and serious business. Some of the work of educators is ultimately devoted to finding ways to encourage the positive character traits of their students while also teaching them skills and concepts in reading, writing, math, history, and science.
Martin Seligman, a 'positivity psychologist' and Christopher Peterson, a psychology professor at University of Michigan, wrote a (possibly "the") book on character: Character Strengths and Virtues. In it, they outlines 24 immutable traits that they believe define good character. The New Yorker article follows two schools, KIPP, a urban charter school system filled with mostly low-income youth, and Riverdale Country School, one of New York's most prestigious private schools, in their pursuit of purposefully injecting character into the school curriculum.
What an interesting thought experiment!
I thought about my nephews -- how do you explain, teach, embody, and discipline a toddler in a way that consciously helps them build character?
Imagine this: It is one 'o clock on Sunday afternoon, at least 30 minutes past the time when the boys normally eat. We are getting an 8 person-tribe of family together at a local restaurant for dinner. We arrive at the restaurant hungry, only to learn that there will be a one-hour wait for a table. The adults grumble a bit, hit their smart phones for alternative restaurant choices in the area, and decide to wait it out. But the 2 and 3 year old only know that they are hungry. No only aren't they being fed, but they are wearing nice outfits and in the lobby of a restaurant where they can't crawl around on the floor playing with toys or loudly chasing each other around.
We are asking them to embody the character trait, as described by Seligman and Peterson, of Self-Regulation.
B.F. Skinner, the father of behavioral psychology, wrote of a similar experiment in his novel Walden Two. In it, children aged three and four were given a lollipop covered in powered sugar, so a single taste could be detected. They are told they will be able to eat the lollipop later if it hasn't been licked. The children quickly learn to conceal the temptation (hide their lollipop out of view) and to distract themselves with something else -- say an interesting toy or game. After a few lessons, the children are become adept at utilizing self control.
Back at the restaurant, I quickly pulled out my iPad and turned on a favorite show for the boys. They happily sat in the lobby watching the show until our names were called. Only when we sat down to the table did they remember they were hungry. The adults distracted themselves in conversation, and my sister-in-law even turned the waiting into a game -- each fifteen minutes we went we were "one lap" closer to the finish line.
 |
| Landon, left, and Tate watching a show while waiting for lunch. |
Next time you are waiting in line or stuck in traffic, why not think of your circumstances as an opportunity to exercise a great character trait! After all, being upset or angry about things you can't change only serves to make you unhappy.
