By Jaime Willis
Matt and I just returned from our final three-day coaching workshop. In just a few short weeks, we'll complete this journey and be certified coaches!
Each of these weekends is an amazing learning and growth experience for everyone there and this weekend was no exception.
In one of our many conversations, we began talking about someone's inner critic about charging clients for their coaching services. This gremlin shows up a lot, especially for women, and it isn't just about charging (or selling), it's about giving and saying no.
Giving your talents and skills away is a beautiful thing. When you offer to help someone else out -- you fix their computer, babysit their kids, drive carpool, cook a lovely meal, you feel great about yourself and you've really helped someone else out. Great, right?
In Guy Kawasaki's book Enchantment, he says that if you truly want to build a relationship with someone else, you have to give them the opportunity to pay you back. Think about this for a moment as the reciever. If someone keeps helping you out -- they've driven carpool for you once, then twice, then three times in the recent past and you haven't had a chance to "pay them back." How do you feel? Guilty? Reluctant to call them again? Sure, that's so understandable! You want to 'even up' the relationship before asking them for another favor, and if you aren't in a position to even up the relationship, it's really hard to stay in touch.
In energy levels, when you give something away, you operate out of Level 4 energy. Level four is a great, clean, constructive energy to be in. But what happens if you give and give and give? Slowly, you stop operating out of a Level 4 and you sink to a Level 2 or a Level 1, don't you? At first, you are happy to give, then you may feel angry (level 2) or taken advantage of (level 1).
That's why Level 5 energy, the win-win energy, is higher than level 4. When you give from a Level 5 energy, it's a win for both parties. So both people feel great about the situation and both people enjoy the relationship. Giving at a level 5 doesn't mean that you can't ever volunteer again or someone should always pay you -- there are lots of ways to win-win. I remember going to volunteer at a nursing home in high school -- the residents there really enjoyed it when we came and sang for them. But it was really neat for us to sit down with the residents afterwords and hear some of the amazing stories about their lives. Win-win!
If you want to build a strong relationship with your friends, family, or clients, do it from a Win-win. When you charge for your services, you are allowing your client the gift of returning your favor. Stronger relationships are built when everyone wins.
Matt and I just returned from our final three-day coaching workshop. In just a few short weeks, we'll complete this journey and be certified coaches!
Each of these weekends is an amazing learning and growth experience for everyone there and this weekend was no exception.
In one of our many conversations, we began talking about someone's inner critic about charging clients for their coaching services. This gremlin shows up a lot, especially for women, and it isn't just about charging (or selling), it's about giving and saying no.
Giving your talents and skills away is a beautiful thing. When you offer to help someone else out -- you fix their computer, babysit their kids, drive carpool, cook a lovely meal, you feel great about yourself and you've really helped someone else out. Great, right?
In Guy Kawasaki's book Enchantment, he says that if you truly want to build a relationship with someone else, you have to give them the opportunity to pay you back. Think about this for a moment as the reciever. If someone keeps helping you out -- they've driven carpool for you once, then twice, then three times in the recent past and you haven't had a chance to "pay them back." How do you feel? Guilty? Reluctant to call them again? Sure, that's so understandable! You want to 'even up' the relationship before asking them for another favor, and if you aren't in a position to even up the relationship, it's really hard to stay in touch.
In energy levels, when you give something away, you operate out of Level 4 energy. Level four is a great, clean, constructive energy to be in. But what happens if you give and give and give? Slowly, you stop operating out of a Level 4 and you sink to a Level 2 or a Level 1, don't you? At first, you are happy to give, then you may feel angry (level 2) or taken advantage of (level 1).
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| image courtesy of lapiana.org |
If you want to build a strong relationship with your friends, family, or clients, do it from a Win-win. When you charge for your services, you are allowing your client the gift of returning your favor. Stronger relationships are built when everyone wins.
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