The Best of Friends

-by Jaime Willis

"We all need friends with whom we can speak of our deepest concerns, and who do not fear to speak the truth in love to us." -Margaret Guenther

Hannah, Jaime & Jacky,  NYC January 2011

This past weekend, I had a wonderful time with two of my best friends in New York City. Because we live in three different cities in two different continents, we cherish our infrequent 'face time' together.

After getting home last night, I reflected a little on why I love these two women so much. They are amazing, strong, intelligent, and funny. One of the things I like most, though, about our 'pajama summits' is our ability and desire to work through each other's most difficult problems with love and a lot of push-back.

You can probably share a struggle with most of your friends and they will commiserate with you. That's what friends are for--they listen, they get outraged on your behalf, they comfort, they share stories of when it happened to them. But a true friend will also push you to challenge your own perception of what is happening. A true friend will tell you when you are acting a little too pitiful and need to 'buck up.' A true friend will tell you that there is no easy way around the thing you are struggling with but to wade in and get dirty. (A true friend will be right there getting dirty with you!)

Each of us this weekend had a chance to share what was most troubling right now in our lives. And each of us were comforted but also challenged by the other two. Some of the challenges we gave to each other:

Focus on the possibilities, not just the (potential) problems. Negativity begets itself, so if you want something great to happen, spend more time anticipating that it will be great!

You don't have to get an A+ in life; accept that some days are bad days and you are still an amazing person anyways.

Being the recipient of someone else's help is far more difficult than being the helper. Be gracious in your needs, not ashamed and angry.

Stop talking about it and start doing it. We'll be here to brush you off if you fall, but you *have* to get out there and do it!

When you are trying to achieve a goal, you *will* have challenges and setbacks. Those are inevitable in life. If you have a friend, a 'challenge buddy' that can not just comfort you, but also give you a loving kick in the pants towards the right direction, you are going to be much more successful!