New Year, New Who

-by Scott Sullivan (one of Velocity’s new extraordinary additions)

This time of year always makes me think of gifts, but not the kind that are wrapped with shiny paper and decorated with fancy ribbons (as FUN as those are to open!). As a life coach I constantly remind my clients that their strengths and gifts far outweigh their perceived weaknesses. The passing of one year to the next is a wonderful opportunity for us to reflect on our gifts. As I foray into the world of blogging each week, I would like to share with you personal and meaningful stories about my life in an effort to explore WHO I am. Together we will begin a journey that will help you define WHO you are and WHO you want to be…

My Gift

I have avoided airports for the past few years. In August of 2009, while waiting for a plane to take me from Tel Aviv to Boston, I discovered that my partner of ten years was in love with another man. You see, he had left me two months earlier but I had spent the entire summer attempting to reconcile. I fought, I battled…I cried every tear and felt the panoply of emotions that break ups seemingly force us to feel. I could not understand why anyone, why HE, would not want to be with me. Ten years of adventures was too much of an investment to squander. And then to find out it took him two months to fall in love again?

I started to think that there was something inherently wrong or broken about me.

When my connecting flight from Atlanta to Boston was about to depart that sultry summer day, I was faced with a life altering choice. Do I begin the process of moving forward and accept what I cannot change or do I return to our home in Budapest and fight for my man?

I chose to give up the self-loathing battle.

Instead I chose an internal self exploration and the emotional work of the past 2.5 years has now brought me to a fundamentally new level of self acceptance and understanding. I chose not to be with someone who did not want to be with me. I chose to build a strong but supple self esteem, tempered by years of breathtaking experiences, respected by innumerable acts of kindness, accepted as me, all of me, just the way I am.

Two weeks ago I faced my sad memory head on as I confidently walked through Reagan National Airport and onto a plane that took me to the ski slopes of Montana to celebrate the most amazing Christmas of my entire life with my family. Now I must be forthright, tears were running down my face (I am Italian-American and we do not just live life...we FEEL life). They were tears of absolute joy.

I have learned that love is not an investment, love is love, the most exhilarating of all the human emotions. I choose to love myself unconditionally.

My journey of self-love and self-embracing saved me from years of bitterness and self-loathing as I exposed myself emotionally to whomever would provide me with support and comfort. I would like to thank all of my friends, my family, my life coaches, my students and even my guardian angels in heaven for allowing me to grieve, to struggle, to temporarily capitulate, to experiment, to cry, and ultimately to live . . . boldly!

My gift this holiday season is ME, just the way I am… (plus some cool presents from my nieces and nephews).

What are your gifts and how do you choose to live in 2012? Who do you choose to be?

Watch my video...I would love to hear from you below or by email!

All You Need is Love

By Jaime Willis

Happy Monday, achievers!! I want to give a Happy Birthday shout out to my fabulous business partner, Matt Leedham.  Matt and I have known each other for eleven years and worked together in three different jobs.  Matt is one stand-up guy -- he is professional, he is thoughtful, he is gregarious, and he is always willing to take on a challenge.  I couldn't have picked a better business partner to start a company with. (I only stress the business part, as many people have come to the false conclusion that we are also life partners.  That position is reserved for his awesome wife, Yu Jin, who he loves without measure.) He's had my back innumerable times, personally and professionally, and I trust him implicitly.  Thanks, ML, for being the awesome you that you are. Happy Birthday!

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Speaking of Birthdays and Shout-outs, I wanted to talk a little bit about gratitude today.  One blogger I read recently did a 30-day "trial" of  love and gratitude, in which she told someone in her life every single day for 30 days how much they meant to her.  She encouraged her readers to do the same, and the results were amazing.

Readers commented:

"Without an exception, I ended up going so deep with each person, and it gave them a chance to tell me how much they love me too."

"It’s interesting because I think most people expect complaints, and when they get love instead, it just sort of blows them away. I loved the experience."

"I had the best reaction from my father. I’ve never really told him how much I love him, and more importantly, WHY I love him. He was so touched by what I said that he had tears streaming down his face. Then I started tearing up myself. It was crazy, but so cathartic. I haven’t had that amazing a connection with my father in decades."

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Yesterday, so many of us reflected on the ten years that have passed since the September 11 attacks.  I was in Washington, D.C. when the planes hit the World Trade Center and Pentagon.  I remember waking up to the radio and the normal shock-jock DJ was talking about a plane crashing.  In my morning stupor, I thought the radio host was doing some sort of "War of the Worlds" style spoof.  It wasn't until I turned on my television that I saw that his reporting was real and our cities were actually being attacked.

I remember my mom frantically trying to get a hold of me on my cell phone, which took hours as America lit up the telephone lines checking on loved ones.  She wouldn't let me get off the phone until she heard me filling my bathtub with water, convinced that I needed to be prepared to bunker down in my apartment for days or weeks.  I kept the water in my tub for two days before feeling ok to drain my tub.  I, like everyone else, spent the entire day at home watching the news and trying to make sense of what had happened.

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When tragedy, big or small, strikes us, our reactions vacillate from anger, horror, sadness, relief, and even gratitude.  We often find a moment, like many of us did yesterday, to be grateful for those still in our lives and fondly remember those who were lost so abruptly ten years ago.

Although remembrances and memorials are great, don't wait for tragedy to tell your friends and family you care about them.  Find time each day and week to express your love.  Like Erin's readers above, you'll benefit as much as the recipient from having a stronger, truer bond to those you care about most.

With all my love --

Jaime

Weekly Wednesday Inspiration #12

-By Jaime Willis

Happy Wednesday y'all!  As you read this, I am flying back from New Mexico.  I had a wonderful trip, and I'm happy to be heading home!

Matt shared a great visual with me this week that I wanted to share with all of you.  I think this does a great job of expressing some of the feelings we have as we're growing through a new opportunity or challenge.

Found on K'Boom

Have a wonderful Wednesday & a great rest of your week!

Happy Valentine's Day!

-By Jaime Willis

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.

It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

Happy Valentines Day!

Valentine's Day is a celebration of our love for each other -- elementary school kids across the country are swapping Batman and Hello Kitty cards, eating candy hearts and frosted cupcakes. Cards, flowers, chocolates, and candlelit dinners are pretty popular treats for adults celebrating.

There's quite a bit of anti-Valentine's day push back as well. Couples lament the forced buying of gifts for this "Hallmark holiday." Singles lament that they have no one to share the dozen cupcakes they bought. It is remarkable that we can take a day devoted to love and joy and find something to snark about. Having been single for more than a few Valentine's Days of my own, I've not been immune to the snark.

But, having a Happy Valentine's Day is not determined by your relationship status -- it is determined by your attitude. You can choose to be happy!

"You are responsible for your life.

You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction." -Oprah

I love that quote because everyone has their own cross to bear in life -- it could be a horrible childhood, a violent ex, or a debilitating disease. Regardless of your circumstances, though, you ALONE are responsible for determining your attitude. You can choose to let those things in your past and present cripple you mentally and physically, or you can choose to dust yourself off and do the very best you can with what you've been given. At Velocity, we focus an entire section of our workshop (pssst -- the next one is this Saturday!) on attitude because we know how critical having a great attitude is to success.

Today should be a reminder to celebrate the people who make your life wonderful. For some, it's a significant other. For others, it's that friend who knows all your secrets and loves you anyway. There is your family, great coworkers, and even the barista who gets your morning order just right every time. We all have someone we can celebrate -- so rather than being snarky, let's all choose to spread joy and happiness today (and, if I had my way, every day)!

Have a wonderful Valentine's Day today!