Laughter Could Save Your Life

-by Matt Leedham

Last year, Jaime wrote about the power of positivity on your health. She shared the story of her grandfather who at the time was fighting cancer. While Grandpa Willis courageously battled, Jaime discovered some research proving that optimism can save your life.

On Friday, I was reminded of this. In the morning, I had the great opportunity to speak to Deloitte Consulting in Virginia on the topic of Stress Management. I stressed (no pun inteneded) the importance of choice management and specifically, choosing new thoughts in a high-stress environment.

After the workshop, I rushed home to meet 3 friends as we had planned a one-night excursion to Atlantic City. I hadn’t packed yet, and was feeling a little pressure – you might even say I was feeling stressed.

But as soon as we hopped in the car, there was laughter. Whether we were recounting funny stories of the past week, or simply ripping on each other like guys do, I found myself laughing. I noticed how much better I felt immediately.

Our primary purpose for going to Atlantic City was to see Bill Burr. Bill was on the Chappelle Show and has hosted his own HBO special. He’s hilarious – probably my favorite comedian right now. After an hour with Bill on the stage, I was in a great mood!

On the ride home, I thought, there has to be something to this laughter thing, right? I mean, I was always told that “laughter is the best medicine.”

As it turns out, laughter helps you oxygenate the cells in your body, resulting in lower blood pressure, reducing pain levels, and even helping your cholesterol. According to research, you’re actually changing your brain chemistry to feel better, and are halting the production of chemicals that make you feel anxious and tense.

And the crazy thing is, you don’t have to laugh spontaneously. It actually works the same even if you fake it. Seriously!

Check out this new phenomenon that’s catching on around the globe. It’s called Laughter Yoga (or Laughter Therapy). Laughter Clubs are popping up all over the place. Do they work? I’m not sure, but after watching a few videos on YouTube, I feel fantastic!

What do you think? Is laughter something that helps you reduce stress? Ever try to be intentional with your laughter to live more stress free?

P.S. Grandpa Willis has since left us, but his spirit lives on with all who remember his positive impact.

Weekly Wednesday Inspiration #37

By Jaime Willis

This week, I read a brilliant blog post by Scott Adams (the creator of Dilbert). It was so good, I was a little miffed I hadn't thought of it first.

He said, "For today only, skip the usual negative comments and leave only optimistic thoughts based on real trends and actual news items. I'll start."

To pick a few examples he mentioned:

"Healthcare: It's better than at any time in human history. Doctors can successfully treat more problems than ever. It's expensive, but arguably there has never been a better value for your dollar."

"Iraq: We're getting out by the end of the year."

"Communication: We're all lucky to be alive in the age of the internet."

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If you've known me in real life for any appreciable amount of time, you've probably been present to at least one instance where I've gone absolutely and positively ecstatically bananas excited for the time we are living in right now.

"We're living in the FUTURE!" I yell.

"Yes, Jaime, we know. The future," you quickly rejoinder, hoping it doesn't start another ten-minute soliloquy that ventures from the LHC to custom medicine to all things Apple. Sadly for you, it's difficult to get me to be quiet about how exciting the FUTURE of NOW is.

I really love Scott's blog post, because that's really the version of news I want to get every day. Sure, there are problems. Yes, I want to help solve them.

But I know, anecdotally and scientifically, that focusing on the negative doesn't help us.

How cool would that be to have a newspaper that reported every story from the best, most "opportunity-driven" point of view?

If you have a great headline for the Positivity Paper, leave it in the comments.

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p.s. It's the future. And it's awesome!

Unclench

-By Matt Leedham

I need to inform you of a word that may not always be appropriate.  But this is our blog, so it's very appropriate.  And it so accurately describes an important process in human thought patterns that it must be discussed.

I learned the phrase "unclench" a couple of years ago from a guy I admire.  His name is Michael and he's based in California.  He owns a very successful catering and food delivery service and he has taught me a lot about strategic planning.  I was helping him administer a strategic planning session with a group of entrepreneurs last year and we ran into a challenge.  He was the facilitator and was trying to get the group to think BIG about the future.  But instead, the group kept wallowing in their disadvantages and why they just couldn't accomplish BIG things.

After about 10 minutes of this drudgery, Michael called a halt to the meeting.  He said, "Alright everyone, we're getting mired in can'ts and won'ts - there's something here that's holding you back.  We need to unclench."

Unclench? I chuckled to myself.  That's quite the reference, but definitely what needed to happen.

He continued, "Just let go and let it out.  Shout out all of the dangers, obstacles, and weaknesses you feel you have as a group.  I'll give you 5 minutes to get it all out of your system.  Then we're going to move on and capitalize on all of these opportunities in disguise."

What happened next was amazing.  The group didn't need 5 minutes -- they needed maybe two minutes.  After that, the next 2 hours was full of positivity and optimism.  It was just a mental block that needed to be addressed.  No doubt the challenges were very real, which is why everyone was getting tripped up on them.  But once addressed, confronted, and reversed, (i.e. the opposite of a danger is an opportunity), the energy in the room shifted toward setting their sights on BIG goals.

Flash foward to this week.

Jaime and I are chatting about a project we're working on.  Unknowingly, I started to complain and whine about something that didn't go right.  After patiently listening for a few minutes, Jaime interrupted me and said,

"Okay, you have..."now looking at her watch, "...10 minutes to vent, complain, and stomp around about this before we decided what we're going to do about it."

I looked at her for a moment, both shocked and impressed.  Did she just challenge me to unclench? Haha! She did.

I came up with maybe 2 or 3 things that were frustrating me and then that was it.  I only needed about a minute.  Then we started focusing on the opportunities that could result from things not turning out the way we had hoped.

Are you, or is someone you know, getting hung up on the negatives of a situation? Are you getting stuck in the weeds of why something won't work? Try a little exercise that might get you unstuck.  List all of the things that are holding you back -- all the reasons why it just won't work.  Take your time.  After an exhaustive list, go down the list and try to uncover the opportunity within each challenge.  it's helpful to do this with a buddy or small group as they can help you discover opportunities where you may not have seen them before.

Examples:

Danger/Obstacle:  I don't have the expertise or skill set.
Reversed: I have an opportunity to learn something new.

Danger/Obstacle: I don't have the money.
Reserved: I have an opportunity to explore financial resources that are available to me and to be creative with budgeting.

Danger/Obstacle: I don't know the right people.
Reversed: I have an opportunity to reach out to my existing network and make new friends that can help me.

Give it a shot!  Once you realize the opportunity, then it's just a matter of using your innate creativity to find a way to get it done.

Need help? Jaime and I are Opportunity Ninjas! We will help you find a way! Contact us!

Choosing Happiness

-By Jaime Willis

Photo by David Laporte

Over the last two weeks, several people who know me "in real life" who read this blog asked me some version of this question, "Are you always happy and positive?" They read my posts and facebook updates, watch me interact with others in real life and can't believe that I can keep up the "happy" front all day every day.

And the truth is, I can't. I get mad when someone cuts me off in traffic. I get irritated with the check-out lady who is scanning my purchases painfully slowly. I pop off with a snarky, undeserved comment when I am tired. I get sad and disappointed when things don't go my way. I am human.

The difference is that I work *hard* to limit the negativity in my life -- from both myself and others. I know that I get more accomplished when I am in a high positive energy state, so I try to stay there as much as possible.

I choose to be happy.

When someone cuts me off in traffic, I get the same flash of anger that you do. Then I try to dismiss that feeling as quickly as possible. Sometimes it's as easy as thinking of something else. Sometimes it's reminding myself that the extra two seconds I'll spend in traffic because I had to brake unnecessarily won't truly have an impact on my day and schedule. Sometimes it's commiserating with the other driver who may be late for an appointment and need to get where they are going faster than I do. I choose to be happy.

Last week, I was really disappointed by a comment someone made to me (it wasn't you, promise!). I couldn't just pick up and move on. So, I set a time limit on my disappointment -- I had an hour to wallow in my negative feelings. At the end of the hour, I let the entire incident go. Any more negativity about the situation wouldn't help me feel better, so I needed to stop being negative. I chose to be happy.

This past weekend, I visited my Grandfather for what is likely the last time I'll see him alive -- he is on the end of a long road of illness. When I left his house on Sunday, I cried myself all the way home. I woke up Monday feeling so sad -- totally normal when someone you love is dying. That evening, I had a coaching client call to take, and I wondered how I would have the energy and enthusiasm to encourage my client.

Before I took the call, I walked around my neighborhood outside in the sunshine and reminded myself how incredibly lucky I was to get to go home and see my Grandpa again. I recalled how amazing it was that Grandpa really woke up on Sunday evening right before I left the house and had a full conversation with us all just like old times -- demanding we make him popcorn and commenting on the news playing on television. I went into my coaching call with a attitude of peaceful calm and had a great session. I chose to be happy.

When I was 19 (about three years ago! :), I participated in my university's Alternative Spring Break. During one of our training sessions, our group leader shared the following parable with us that I have never forgotten:

I walked with my friend, a Quaker, to the news stand the other night, and he bought a paper, thanking the newsie politely. The newsie didn't even acknowledge him.

"A sullen fellow, isn't he?," I asked.

"Oh, he's that way every night," shrugged my friend.

"Then why do you continue to be so polite to him?," I asked.

"Why not?," inquired my friend. "Why should I let him decide how I'm going to act?"

As I thought about this incident later, it occurred to me that the important word was "act." My friend acts towards people; most of us *react* towards them.

He has a sense of inner balance which is lacking in most of us - he knows who he is, what he stands for, how he should behave. He refuses to return incivility, because then he would no longer be in command of his own conduct.

Nobody is unhappier than the perpetual reactor. His center of emotional gravity is not rooted within himself, where it belongs, but in the world outside him.

His emotional temperature is always being raised or lowered by the social climate around him and he is a mere creature at the mercy of those elements.

Praises give him a feeling of euphoria, which is false, because it does not last and it does not come from self approval. Criticism depresses him more than it should, because it confirms his own secretly shaky opinion of himself. Snubs hurt him, and the merest suspicion of unpopularity in any quarter rouses him to bitterness.

Serenity cannot be achieved until we become masters of our own action and attitudes. To let another determine whether we shall be rude or gracious, elated or depressed, is to relinquish control over our own personalities, which is ultimately all we possess. The only true possession is self-possession.

How often to you react? How would your own life be improved if you chose to act, if you chose to be happy, regardless of your circumstances?

Stay Solution Oriented

-by Matt Leedham

Negativity is an albatross. Without a doubt, it is a burden and a curse. It hangs heavily around the necks of those who embrace it.

We’ve all seen it before. The heaviness of this burden on friends that constantly complain, or colleagues that gossip.

Negativity crushes the spirit, feeds on more negativity, and creates a helpless, victim-based thought pattern that has no benefit.

However, we all deal with frustration. We all have moments of weakness. We all vent our emotions (usually to our closest friends and family because they’re the only ones that will tolerate it from us). It is healthy to express these emotions.

So, if it’s healthy to express our frustrations with people, places, and things, how can we keep negativity out of it? After all, “expressing our frustrations” sounds a lot like complaining, doesn’t it?

There are two keys to this process:

1. Stay Objective – stick to the facts and try not to become emotionally attached.
2. Stay Solution-Oriented – vent all you want, but conclude with ideas or questions that are focused on making things better.

Here’s an example at work. Imagine one of your colleagues coming up to you and saying…

“She doesn’t care, apparently can’t read or comprehend email, makes stupid mistakes and then shares the blame with everyone around her when things go wrong. She drives me crazy!”

vs.

“She doesn’t listen to what I need, only responds to parts of my email, makes mistakes and then shares the blame with everyone around her when things go wrong. I wonder if there is a way that I can communicate with her better to avoid this in the future. What do you think?”

Moving out of victim-based thinking and into responsibility and solution-based thinking makes a huge difference! Imagine the performance level in these two work environments if everyone acted similarly. In a culture of negativity, how productive will the team be?

Now think about a culture of solutions and responsibility. That’s a pretty exciting difference!

The bottom line is, it all starts with YOU. Build a culture of positive solutions – both in your professional life as well as your personal life. Keep your friends and colleagues solution-oriented and you will notice a tremendous shift in energy.

Staying Inspired

"Nothing GREAT was ever achieved without ENTHUSIASM."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

By Jaime Willis

Photo Credit: My adorable nephew, Tate, by Jamie Geysbeek

Some days, we just aren't feeling it. That was me on Saturday morning. I got to bed later than I wanted to Friday night, and the morning came way too early for me. Matt and I were meeting at 7:45am to prepare for our third goal-setting workshop -- where I was supposed to spend five hours encouraging others to find their passion and make it happen.

I knew I needed an attitude adjustment, but my normal priming just wasn't working. I decided to dress up (typically, Matt and I teach in jeans) in the hopes that looking nice would impact my attitude. Matt noticed right away that I was low energy and we both just hoped that I would pop out of it before the course began.

When we got our course site, I was still not feeling ready to inspire. My mood was further darkened by an overzealous security guard who insisted on arguing with me, even though we agreed! ("Good morning! I came up to sign in, as your colleague requested." "WHAT? You have to sign in!!" "Ok, that's fine. I am here to sign in." "Well, you have to. How did you get in without signing in??" and so on...)

I went to Starbucks to pick up our coffee and tea travelers for the morning breakfast spread, and, in a flash, I got inspired! Starbucks has innovated their cardboard coffee travelers by adding these awesome 'saddle bags' to help customers carry all the accessories that come with a gallon of coffee. Seeing that neat little innovation made me smile and turned my mood around. I tipped the staff (another great way to improve your mood--do something nice for someone else) and walked back to our classroom in a much lighter mood.

Our class this weekend was the best one we've ever had. All the participants were engaged, Matt and I brought our "A" game, and the course itself was well-designed after several big tweaks based on our previous courses' feedback. I'd hate to think how the course would have gone if I had not been able to get into a positive frame of mind.

Sometimes, it takes such a little thing to get inspired. To stay positive. To turn that frown upside down. If you find yourself needing a little inspiration, here are a few places to go to get your own mood back on track:

1. Quotes to Inspire Dreamers

Tess Marshall writes a great blog, The Bold Life, that I discovered when her daughters, my high school classmates, linked to it on their facebook page. She has lots of great content, so if you liked that post, consider subscribing to her RSS feed to get a regular dose of the Bold Life.

2. TED Talks

TED started as a "Technology, Entertainment, and Design" conference, but has since spread to cover any and all interesting topics in 20 minute (or less) presentations. Search for a specific topic or just click on a random talk--you won't be disappointed.

3. Amazing Nature Photography

Seriously, try to be in a bad mood while scrolling through this photo set.

4. Inventables

Just like the Starbucks saddle bag, this site is full of really neat stuff that could serve as a jumping off point for your new, amazing invention. Or, you could just buy a squishy gel magnet because it's cool.

5. Set the Mood!

Open these three links in separate tabs, turn up your speakers, and just chill. A perfect way to relax at the end of a stressful day, or to start your day on a calming note. (HT to reddit.com)

6. Inspiring True Stories

Read about the amazing accomplishments of others here or just browse through our TGIF posts.

Have a great day!

Ch-Ch-Changes

- by Jaime Willis

"When nothing is certain, EVERYTHING is possible." - Margaret Drabble

Before I get to the point of today's post, I need to give you a quick lesson on William Bridges'Transition Framework (TF). The TF states that for every change that happens in your life, physical, mental, or spiritual, there is an emotional transition that one must also go through. This transition process has three main steps: Endings, Neutral Zone, and Beginnings.

An "Ending" is the acknowledgement that a change has occurred in your life, and using evokes feelings of sadness, anger, and fear. The "Neutral Zone" is the place where you wander when you have acknowledged the change, but don't have your new routine down pat yet. Being in your Neutral Zone usually evokes feelings of fear, confusion, and stress, but may also be a time of freedom and opportunity, depending on the change you are transitioning through. Beginnings are when you are emotionally ready to commit to your new way of life and boy, does this feel great!

Because change and transition doesn't happen on the same timeline, the TF helps explain why your emotions may not match the circumstances of your life. For example, why do you think high school students experience a big funk after graduation? Even though graduating is a wonderful accomplishment, they are experiencing an Ending (of their high school career) and will have feelings of loss and even anger until they can transition through to their new Beginning. Get it? TF is a great emotional tool to use and you can read much more about it here.

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Now that you have a sketch of the Transition Framework, let's look at how it can be applied to goal achievement. Think, for example, about someone who has made a goal to purchase their first home. This goal is a huge change for this current renter. Achieving this goal may mean the loss of freedom and/or independence, as one is now obligated to pay a mortgage and upkeep a house (endings). The future home-owner may find the process of finding a mortgage and choosing a home extremely stressful and confusing, and may not be able to make a decision on anything while sorting through all of the new information (neutral zone). Once the person finally sees all the opportunities they have in homeownership, they will be able to buy a house and start living the life of a homeowner (beginnings).

Once you understand that you will have to go through all the stages of a transition to achieve your goal (there are no shortcuts), what can you do to help alleviate the emotional upheaval you may feel.

Acknowledge your feelings and your transition stage.

Change and transitions are tough. Sometimes just being able to name the reason for your emotional response helps quiet your feelings. (This is also true for dealing with a person going through their own transition--you can have a lot more empathy for your teenager's bad attitude when you understand what stage of transition they are working through).

Also, it is important to note that transitions are NOT linear. You may alternate between sadness/anger and stress/uncertainty as you process the change in your life. (You may be upset that you lost your job, and are stressed out about getting a new one--depending on the day).

Create a calming ritual.

Why are funerals so important? Because they are a ritualistic acknowledgement of the loss everyone attending has suffered. Funerals are the embodiment of a transitional ending, and are incredibly cathartic. But, it isn't just sad changes that should be acknowledged.

Happy changes also have a component of ending/loss in them that needs an emotional home. A Bachelor/Bachelorette party is a perfect example of a ritual celebrating the end of someone's single life.

Utilize positive self-talk.

During one's neutral zone stage, the lack of certainty and firm footing can be paralyzing. Since there is no short-cut through the neutral zone, one has to find ways to accept a level of uncertainty as you transition. If you are anything like me, you worry about what "could be" a lot. I have recently found two powerful mantras (think priming) for me to evoke whenever worry starts shutting me down.

"Thank you for right now." My worries are never about what is happening in the present moment--they are about what already happened or what may happen. One way to recenter myself is to remember that I cannot change the past and I cannot control the future, but I can be thankful for what I have right this very moment. This song (Blessed by Brett Dennen) is my go-to "be in the moment" track. You may also like the Serenity Prayer.

"When nothing is certain, everything is possible." I was literally just introduced to this quote yesterday and it really resonated with me. I never worry about something good happening, only about all the bad things that could happen. This quote helps remind me that it is just as likely that something amazing can happen, focusing me on the positive. See also: Impossible is Nothing.

Find Comfort in Community.

There are almost 7 billion people on this planet. It is safe to safe that there is unlikely to be any change, no matter how good or bad, that at least a few others have already gone through. Network with these people to learn how they managed a similar change and transition. You may also find comfort in the listening ear or support from family, friends, or mental health professionals.

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No matter where you are in your goal-achieving, I am sure you can benefit from figuring out how the emotional transition you are making is impacting the change you are trying to make. Good luck as you continue your change and transition journeys!

Happy Holidays?

- by Jaime Willis

"As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same."

- Donald E. Westlake

Ah! The holidays are upon us. In DC, students celebrated Friday as their last day of school for two weeks. The stores are packed with last minute shoppers. The roads and skies are full of folks traveling to the next holiday gathering. In all of this hustle and bustle, there are so many reasons to be stressed and upset--traffic is backed up, your flight is delayed, the perfect gift is sold out, your family is hard to handle, the weight is packing back on as fast as your bank account is dwindling, the list goes on. Maybe now is the time to re-frame and prime so you can ENJOY the season.

There are lots of ways to "Etch-a-Sketch" the holiday stress and focus on the positives.

1) Be Thankful. You may be scowling at the thought of having to listen to one more political rant from your Uncle John or pre-emptively popping the tylenol because your sister's kids have only one setting: LOUD. Instead, be thankful. Be thankful that your family is alive right now to bother you. Be thankful you live in a country where political ranting is protected speech (at least protected under the law--Uncle John may still get a biscuit thrown at his head!) Enjoy their quirkiness. Another blogger I read recently wrote her mantra is "This. Is. It." This is the only life we have, and this is the only moment that is guaranteed. Enjoy it! (At right is me and my nephew having fun with the camera.)

2) Be Forgiving (and For Giving). I took a supershuttle from the airport 45 minutes to my house last night. Every five minutes, the van spit out a monotonal beeping noise for 30 full seconds warning the driver of some critical required repair. For those of you who know me, beeping noises are my kryptonite. I plugged in my iPod and cranked my music, but I could still hear the beeps throughout the drive. I started crafting my complaint email in my head while deciding how little I would tip the driver for such an awful ride. And then, I stopped. The driver's job is hard enough on a normal day, much less with a full vanload of people during the traffic rush. And, he's had to listen to that beeping not just for one ride, but for the entire day! Putting myself in the driver's shoes allowed me to forgive him for his beeping van and also made me tip him extra for his trouble. Forgiving and giving also helped my own attitude!

3) Be Kind. How quickly we get enraged when a driver cuts us off or the person in front of us in line is insufferably slow. Just as easily, however, we can spread love and joy. Try smiling as you walk down the street, or sincerely wishing the cashier a happy holiday. Try laughing when the wait is long. Try making a silly face at the screaming kid in the restaurant. Being kind boosts your own spirit, but is also contagious. Share the love!

4) Take a Breather. Remember that the holidays are not all about breaking the bank to give the perfect gift or making the perfect dessert or even being the perfect hostess or guest. Take a quiet moment to yourself and just breathe. Being perfect isn't the goal. Enjoy the moment for what it is -- imperfections and all. It is a tradition at our house to enjoy a cup of tea while listening to the story "A Cup of Christmas Tea" after our Christmas brunch.

5) Help Someone Else. I used to watch

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition all the time, and it never failed to make me tear up watching an entire town come together to make a family's dreams come true. I read a story about the show recently that really brought the point home. The night before the family was to come home, there are hundreds of people in the house doing everything from painting to landscaping. Most are volunteers from various local charities. When a young woman from "Make a Wish" sidled up to the production staff in a room, they put her right to work painting. After spending most of the evening working with her, they discovered that the woman wasn't from the "Make a Wish" foundation, but a "Make a Wish" recipient with Stage-4 Leukemia. Even in this young woman's darkest hour, she chose to use her "wish" to help others. We should all make an effort to help someone else -- give your time, your resources, or your money and enjoy the gift of giving. (story hat tip: Reddit)

Happy Holidays!

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In the spirit of the season, we have decided to give as well. On Saturday, January 8, 2011, we are doing a five-hour New Year's Resolution Goal Setting Workshop Extravaganza in Washington DC. And we are doing it for 60% off our normal 3-hour workshop price. There are only 60 seats and at $20/seat, they are going to go quickly, so sign up today!

The Thing About Luck

- by Matt Leedham

So…the thing about luck is…

There is no luck.

Sorry. But luck has nothing to do with success. I’ll admit there’s a little luck involved with winning the lottery, but that’s about it.

I’ve been saying this for years, especially after an old mentor of mine told me that there is no such thing as luck. In fact, I remember him saying that it’s almost insulting when someone says you’re lucky for the position you are in or the opportunities you have. He was right.

Luck = being prepared for opportunity.

Some people walk around with their eyes open. Some people walk around every corner of their lives looking for opportunity with their eyes wide open. Just like in relationships, when your receptors are open, opportunities present themselves. And when you are ready for them, things happen.

Guess what. This isn’t just my brilliant theory. Professor Richard Wiseman is at it again! Check out the psychology of luck, where Prof. Wiseman’s study concludes that “lucky” people tend to employ these four principles:

1. Maximize Chance Opportunities (expand your network and listen more)
2. Listen to Your Gut (hunches are creativity and opportunity speaking to you)
3. Expect Good Fortune (haven’t we mentioned the power of positivity before?)
4. Turn Bad Luck to Good (again, stay positive and keep bad moments in the moment)

So, please don't use luck as an excuse. Other people aren't luckier than you, and you don't have "bad luck." Good things happen and bad things happen. What we do with it is entirely up to us.

Stay open. Stay positive. Expect good things. Put yourself out there. Talk to people. Share. Receive.

Make things happen.

TGIF Interview with Anthony Fasano

Happy Friday, everyone! Welcome to our new TGIF (This Goal Is Finished) campaign. Each Friday, we will feature a successful achiever and ask them 10 questions about how and why they achieved a goal in their lives. We hope you both enjoy the interview, and learn something new or inspirational to keep you moving toward achieving your own goals. Enjoy!

My name is Anthony Fasano, after 10 yearsin the corporate world as a civil engineer, I realized that I had an ability to inspire professionals and help them and their organizations grow. I decided to follow my dream and use my abilities. I mustered up every ounce of courage that I had and left my job in corporate America this past July and started my own coaching/consulting company, Powerful Purpose Associates. I now coach and speak to professionals around the world on the topics of business and career growth and development. In addition to coaching and speaking, I also write daily inspirational e-mails to professionals worldwide known as a Daily Boost from Your Professional Partner. Feel free to take advantage of the free career resources on our website at http://www.powerfulpurpose.com.

My goal was to start a coaching/consulting company without taking out a loan so I could live my passion on a daily basis.

I chose this goal, because I knew that I had a passion and desire to inspire people and help them grow, and I wanted to use it everyday. I knew that by following my passion, not only would I have the career I always dreamed about, but I would also help other professionals achieve their goals and dreams.

I was sitting on my couch a few years ago, and I looked at my wife and I said, “I want to become a coach.” At that point, I did not know much about executive coaching, nor did she, but she looked back at me and said, if that’s what you want to do, I will support you. I spent the next few days researching different coaching schools and the next weekend I found myself driving up to Massachusetts to start a one year program at the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching. The rest is history!

The biggest obstacle I faced was people telling me that I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.

They said I can’t:

• Leave a comfortable job with good benefits,
• Support my family with my own business,
• Find enough companies that would want to hire me,
• Start a business in this economy.

Overcoming these obstacles for me was easy; I just stayed focused on my goal and knew I WOULD ACCOMPLISH IT. The key in achieving a goal is believing you will achieve it, no matter what. I surrounded myself with positive people and read positive books and articles. I also found others that had already achieved a similar goal, asked them a lot of questions, and then followed what they did.

The key to staying motivated was surrounding myself with positive, supportive people that helped me along the way. I also read and listened to positive books and information around personal development and success.

My wife was instrumental in me achieving my goal, because even though she recently lost her job and we have two young kids, she supported me 100% the entire time. Once I had her support, I had no doubt at all that it would happen.

When I accomplished my goal, I celebrated it, I enjoyed it and then started setting new goals. We must continue to grow every day! Although I will say that I still realize the benefits of my goal each and every day as it has allowed me to do what I love to do on a daily basis and I will always remember that journey!

Don’t doubt yourself or put limits on yourself because of what others tell you. You can do anything you want to do, as long as you put your mind to it and stay focused on that goal. ANYTHING!

Currently I am working on growing my business and I have a goal of working towards more inspirational speaking and writing in the future!

Power of Positivity

-by Matt Leedham

The power of positivity on personal happiness, fulfillment and achievement is astonishing. We’ve already touched on positivity in three recent blog posts, but there’s more to uncover. And if you’re not sold on the concept yet, we’ve got more convincing to do.

There is a burgeoning field of study known as positive psychology that is putting science to work in what was once just a theory. Ultimately, positive psychology is meant to compliment other forms of proven psychology and is being integrated into many professional practices due to the power of positivity on conditions such as depression and anxiety.

This isn’t “new age” stuff. Let me bring in an expert. Shawn Achor has spent over a decade at Harvard, first graduating Magna Cum Laude, then earning an advanced degree before accepting the role of Head Teaching Fellow for Positive Psychology. Shawn then founded Good Think, Inc., and authored the book “The Happiness Advantage.” If you have time, watch his 21 minute speech on his findings at Harvard – don’t worry, it’s quite entertaining.

BUT, if you don’t have time, let me sum up his findings on how to “change your baseline” – in other words, how to inject positivity into your life:

Gratitude – he suggests taking 30 seconds each morning to jot down 5 things you are thankful for. Do this once, he says, and you’ll impact your happiness for the next 24 hours. Do this for 21 days in a row, and you’ll impact your happiness for the next 6 months. (hmmm…we’ve blogged about gratitude too!)

Journaling – write for just 3 minutes a day on a positive experience and research indicates that doctor’s visits drop by 50%

Simplifying vs. Multitasking – simply put, our brains can only focus on one thing at a time. Multitasking causes stress and anxiety.

Utilizing Strengths – by finding ways to use your strengths each day, research indicates higher levels of energy and more productivity.

Exercise – exercise has been proven to be as powerful an anti-depressant as prescription anti-depressants. Enough said!

Meditation – simply focusing on your breathing throughout the day results in increased gamma waves in your brain which have been indentified in research to impact insight and “eureka!” moments.

Final thought: invest in your own positivity. You will feel happier and achieve more.

Lighten Up!

- by Matt Leedham

I told my wife the other day that I wanted to write on the topic of not taking yourself too seriously. Her response was, “ummmm.” You may not know my wife, but I know her quite well. That little sound she made, as cute as it was, clearly told me that I had no business writing on the topic. Good point! Which is precisely why I MUST write on the topic.

You see, our angle on this entire blog and even in our live courses, is to be as open and transparent as possible to, a) encourage you to do the same in your lives, and b) so that we can learn and grow from this experience as well. It does me no good to pretend that I’m someone that I’m not (foreshadow: my next post will be on authenticity). So, this is my way of being open and honest with you…and with myself.

I’ll admit it, sometimes I take myself too seriously. Sometimes I get too wound up when I want things to go just right. Sometimes I get caught up in the image of things and how I appear to other people. Sometimes I cover up my mistakes so that I save face. Sometimes, I’m just downright grumpy and moody. It’s all so ridiculous though. It causes me more stress and anxiety trying to be perfect than to just admit my faults and chuckle about my failures. In fact, it’s quite liberating to be honest with yourself and others regarding who you are and in what ways you’re not perfect. You should try it!

Don’t take yourself too seriously when setting personal goals. Have a sense of humor. It’s okay to admit previous failures. It’s ok to let your image go. What are you so worried about? Who is “your image” for? In fact, what is “your image” anyway? It’s just you – right here, right now. There is no image. Don't let the fog of what other people think cloud your judgment or influence the direction of your life.

Live your life and enjoy the ride. Having said that, let me end on a light note with a powerful quote from a classic film:

“Life’s a garden. Dig it.” - Joe Dirt

Leave us silly thoughts or stories in the comment section below!

Optimism May Save Your Life

- by Jaime Willis

"It's Impossible," said Pride.

"It's Risky," said Experience.

"It's Pointless," said Reason.

"Give it a try," whispered the Heart.

I've spent the last week in a bit of an emotional upheaval. I called my Grandma on Wednesday evening to chat, only to find out that my Grandfather's health had taken a turn for the worse. Grandpa's cancer was back with a vengeance and his oncologist told the family there was nothing more Grandpa could do but to go home "and wait." Instead of blindly accepting a death sentence, the whole family went into "Get 'er Done" mode. This past Friday, after a squeezed-in appointment with a world-renowned cancer doctor twelve and half hours away from my Grandparent's home, Grandpa was given a new medical regimen with a 70% success rate! While Grandpa is not yet out of the woods, it is incredibly encouraging to learn that there is a viable treatment available!

Other than providing Grandpa with a fantastic medical treatment, the Doctor shared with us another secret to all of our health.

Be Optimistic.

It's that simple. In a 2004 Dutch study, almost one thousand 65 - 85 year olds were tested to determine their relative levels of optimism (vs. pessimism). Then these patients were tracked for ten years, in which time 397 of the 941 patients died. What is fascinating about the study is that the pessimists died at almost double the rate of the optimists! This study has been repeated several times, with similar results. Researchers are still unsure why optimists fare better in life, but it's a fact that optimists live longer lives.

Pessimists not only see the glass as half-empty, but also spend a lot of their time worrying about what bad thing is coming their way next, so they don't really even enjoy life when it is going well. Optimists, on the other hand, live happily through the good times, and remain uplifted during the tough times by believing that there is an answer or a way through their problems.

Here is proof positive that priming yourself to succeed is not only helpful for goal-setting, but may be life-saving!

So, what do you have to be happy about today? Leave us a note or a story in the comment section below.

Today's Going to Be a GREAT Day!

- by Jaime Willis

In the ten plus years I’ve coached students to do better on standardized tests, there is one sentence that almost all of my students utter that makes me STABBY.

“I’m bad at test taking.”

Firstly, test-taking ability is not genetic, but people certainly act that way. As if their test-taking ability was as immutable as the size of their feet or the number of freckles on their face. This way, they don’t have to take responsibility for the outcome on their exams—it isn’t them, it’s that they lack the ‘test-taking gene.’ Right? No! The ability to do well on tests is a skill that anyone can learn and excel at, given time, attention, and a fair amount of practice.

What that pronouncement says to me is nothing more than, “I give up.” Even worse than that, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more negative you are about your own abilities, the more likely that you follow that path to failure.

One of the things Matt and I feel very strongly about is the need to PRIME yourself to be successful. This doesn’t mean that you have to shout from the rooftops about how amazing you are all the time (that would be really obnoxious!), but you do need to reframe your thinking to focus on the positives and success instead of on the negatives and possible failure.

Priming yourself to succeed is a very deliberate, conscious act.

It is waking up every morning and deliberately being happy about the day, whether you feel that way at first or not. (I personally like to walk to work to “All I Do is Win” by DJ Khaled).
It is focusing on the positives, not the negatives. “I’m working on getting better at remembering people’s names, “ not, “I’m so forgetful.”

“I am so happy that I’m working hard on becoming healthy” instead of “I can’t believe how fat I let myself get.”

I challenge you to reframe one of your goals so you are completely focused on the positive and see if your results improve!

Believe it. Achieve It.