Choose Your Path

-by Matt Leedham

“I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I see now that I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

I read this quote the other day and it really struck me (and made me chuckle). All too often, the clients we work with have no specific vision of who they want to be or what they want for themselves. Understandably, we fall prey to the commitments and responsibilities of our lives, compromising our own wants and needs. We fail to see, with specificity, the path that will lead in a direction of our choosing. Sometimes we don’t even realize we have a choice.

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” – Lewis Carroll

If you don’t choose a path for yourself, one will be chosen for you. It will usually be the path of least resistance, or a path of someone else’s choosing. Be specific in what you want, focus on it, and it will begin to materialize. Here are some tips for choosing your own path:

1. Reflect on your Core Values. No core values?
2. Close your eyes and begin to create your Painted Picture.
3. Write it down in as much detail as possible.
4. Share it with at least one person (the scary, but highly effective part).
5. Glance at your vision once/day for 3 months, occasionally modifying it if necessary.

If you do this, you are now beginning to choose your own path. What you will see happen over the next few months may seem strange. You may notice a lot of “coincidences” and may even feel “lucky” at times. Opportunities may present themselves in ways they’ve never appeared before. Grab each one of these moments and make the most of it. Great things are about to happen...

Enjoy the ride!

Awespiration

- by Jaime Willis

When I woke up this morning, Steve Harvey was on the radio telling me to "Think Big." Big thinking is a great way to start off your week, so I thank Steve for reminding me.

As I was getting up and preparing for the day, I wondered how I could encourage you to think big as you are setting and achieving your goals. In our goal-setting course (by the way - the next class is just around the corner - Saturday, December 11 - sign up now!), we talk about creating a "painted picture" of your life three years from now. A great painted picture requires big thinking, but how can you exercise your "big thinking" muscles?

Luckily, there are some researchers that can point us in the right direction.* Dacher Keltner is a psychology professor at the University of California, Berkeley, who has been studying awe. In one of his experiments called the 20 Statements Test, he asks participants to complete 20 sentences beginning with "I am..." One group of participants completes the task in front of a full-size replica of a Tyrannosaurus Rex while the other group writes sentences while facing a hallway wall. *Hat tip to David Hochman, who wrote "The Wonder of it All" in the December 2010 issue of Oprah magazine, which introduced me to the study of awe.

The result? The T-Rex group were three times likelier to describe themselves as part of something larger than the hallway group. Keltner states that awe inspires people to think big!

Psychologist Michelle Shiota says that "Awe is a response to things you don't have a mental template for." So how can you fit more awe into your life?

1) Be inspired by nature. There is nothing more awe-inspiring that walking through the giant Redwoods in California or seeing the stars on a cloudless Montana night sky. Remember the scene in Contact when Jodie Foster is trying to explain her experience in space to Congress? That was true awe of nature!

Photo Credit: Rolf Hicker.

2) Meditate on acts of great generosity or humanity. I was so awe-struck by the Chilean miner rescue that I was glued to the television and internet for the entire day the miners were finally brought up out of the earth.

Photo Credit: Alex Ibanez/AP via the Christian Science Monitor

3) Try something new. I had the amazing opportunity to zipline through the rainforest in Costa Rica two years ago. The rush of "flying" over the lush treeline was so awe-inspiring, I did the entire zip course twice. Even in our daily life, though, we can find ways to try new things and experience awe. Walk a different way through your neighborhood, really look at the scenery you are passing by in your drive to work, or choose a new lunch spot.

4) Join the crowd. Being a part of a "big" experience is a great way to feel awe and think big. Remember the rush of hearing your favorite song live at your first concert? How about the joy of being part of an Improv Anywhere mission? I recall the wonder of a huge snowball fight in Dupont Circle during last year's snowpocalypse.

Photo Credit: James Calder

Tell us in the comments below what you are getting your "awespiration" from today.

Be Authentic

- by Matt Leedham

Authenticity is an interesting word, but an even more fascinating concept. It has Greek roots from autos “self” + hentes “doer, being.” You could interpret this as “being yourself.”

The first step to being yourself is knowing yourself. Have you asked yourself why you are where you are in life? Why you have the things you have? A few years ago, I really started to notice that question pop up in my head. Why did I go to college? Why did I study Sociology? How did I end up in this career path with these possessions? Was it intentional or was it a result of expectations of other people, one after another, that has led me here? Or worse yet, was it a result of pressure from that amorphous group of “other people,” our society, that has led me here.

I started asking myself the tough questions. I started getting myself aligned. I reflected and defined my core values, and then to took the time to ensure my personal vision and the goals I set were in alignment with those core values.

So, if the first step is knowing who you are, the second step must be “doing what you are.” As Seth Godin says in his post on authenticity, “you could spend your time wondering if what you say you are is really you. Or you could just act like that all the time.” Well said! As we know, actions speak louder than words.

Let go of preconceived categories and labels of what you should be. Reflect on who you are. But most importantly, ACT on what you are. That is being authentic.

Thoughts? Questions? Use the comment section below.

Dare to be Powerful

- by Matt Leedham

“When I dare to be powerful – [that is] to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”

- Audre Lorde (American Poet, Teacher and Activist; 1934-1992)

This is an interesting quote as it addresses many components of personal goal setting in just one short sentence. Let’s start at the end and move backwards.

“…it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” I addressed fear in two separate posts recently because fear is a critical piece of success. Fear, and the ability to overcome it, seems to be a common trait among people that achieve great things in life. And while I had been suggesting that you become more and more comfortable with it, Lorde is suggesting that you can simply make fear less and less relevant in your life. But how?

“…use my strength in the service of my vision…” To use your strength, you must first know your strength. Through my experience in working with others, I find that there is a standard gap between having a strength, and knowing that strength. To know yourself comes from a deep respect and acceptance of who you are, at the core, and can be achieved through personal reflection, or exercises to elicit your core values, tendencies, preferences, and behavioral and thinking styles. That’s why, at Velocity, we spend a significant amount of time focusing on core values in the beginning of our live courses. It’s the foundation for moving forward and is critical to understand about yourself.

The second part of this section of the quote is about vision. What does it mean to have a “vision?” You may hear about vision and mission statements in corporate settings, and it’s not much different in your personal life. A vision is an image or a picture of where you want to be at a future date. Some people prefer to think 1 year out, and others think 3 years out. I generally advise people not to think out much further than that, as things can change so much and the vision can become blurry. The key to having a vision is to imagine it and write it down with such vivid detail that it seems real. Think of Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa – the beauty is in the detail. That’s why some people refer to your personal vision as your “painted picture.”

When you know yourself and your strengths, and have a clear, vivid image of where you want to go, can you see how fear becomes less relevant? Can you see how emotional challenges and obstacles begin to melt away? Can you see how material challenges and obstacles, while very real and tangible, become puzzles through which you need to find alternate solutions? Living with confidence in knowing who you are and where you want to go is very liberating.

And finally, can you see how this “knowing of yourself” and this “visioning” can be quite powerful?

Dare to exercise the strengths you have. Dare to use those strengths in service of your vision. You can overcome fear and achieve great things. Dare to be powerful, my friends.

How have you used your strengths in service of your vision? Share your thoughts and stories below and leave a comment!