The Beach Boys in the Winter

-by Scott Sullivan

This time of year I always listen to The Beach Boys. Their music exudes a warmth and youthfulness that is especially appreciated on cold winter nights.

My favorite is God Only Knows because it highlights the critical anabolic connection between the self and those in our community . . . our “life-team.”

I often think about the possibility that connection and positive relationships are a universal human value.

How about we all pledge in 2012 and beyond to spend more time showing gratitude to those people in our lives who help us to maintain, and even enhance, our sense of well-being and self-esteem?

Let’s get specific here: Who are the people in your life who build you up, who help you see possibilities where before you only saw obstacles, who challenge and engage you from a posture of mutual respect and love?

Here are mine:

Will
Never have I met a person with a more robust personal constitution, yet who is still curious about the world around him and those who live in it.

Neila
She has a reservoir of empathy so deep it sometimes overwhelms her, but no one on this planet gets me the way she does. Ours is a cosmic connection.

Tess
Her smile warms my heart and her voice makes it skip a beat. She cares about her family like no one I have ever known.

Larson
A person of deep passion and great gifts who is not afraid to speak his mind and to speak from the heart. I would not change one thing about him; he is a treasure.

These four people are my nieces and nephews. The youngest is 10 and the oldest almost 13! I was blessed with the opportunity to help raise each and every one of them .

So that leads me to four more people to acknowledge . . .

Their parents: John, Jill, JC and Stephanie. They are all related to me by common experience and challenges, and some by blood as well.

Finally I am grateful for Randa. She has all of the gifts of the eight mentioned above, and she is my best friend! Lucky ME!

My self esteem is inextricably linked to my community’s esteem and these eight people are one heck of a team to have on my side…THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Who would you like to thank for being a part of your community?

Do not be shy, post it here for all to read, you will feel amazing once you do…

Intuition Without Borders

-by Matt Leedham

I've spent a lot of time this year reflecting on intuition. What exactly is it and how can I use it to help others?

I have found that when I tap into and trust my intuition, good things happen for me and others. Apparently I know things I don't know I know, and am highly perceptive and sensitive to other's feelings.

The last week I've spent in Korea has reconfirmed and reaffirmed my intuition. In the books and articles I've read on this wonderful country, they often speak of the tight bond the Korean people have with each other. My wife speaks of it too.

Having witnessed this bond myself, I feel confident that we are all connected by something much deeper than bloodlines, friendships, and proximity. There is something unexplainable that connects humans to each other. I can't describe it in detail, but I will share 3 things that happened to me yesterday that has me pondering this notion with greater intensity.

Over lunch, Halmuhni (my wife's grandmother) would tell stories about Korean culture and history. My wife would try to translate as much as possible, but I had some questions of my own. The dialog went back and forth for awhile through our translator, but I could tell that Halmuhni was energized by my inquisitive questions.

As we stood up to leave, she admitted that she was sad that she couldn't communicate with me directly, wishing that we could just sit and chat and get to know each other better.

Then she added (translated), "That's okay, we don't need words...our hearts can communicate."

That was deep.

But she's absolutely right. Without being able to say it, she knows that I care for her and love her. And I know that it brings her great joy to be a grandma to me...making sue I have enough to eat, that I sleep well, and that I am always comfortable.

Later that day we arrived in Yeosu and met up with a woman and her daughter for dinner. This was a special meal. My Abunim (father-in-law) had a childhood friend that used to live in Yeosu and this was his wife and daughter. Tragically, Abunim's best friend was killed in a car accident a couple of years ago. I was told that this may be an emotional meeting, but I didn't quite process what that meant.

When we sat down for dinner, the daughter told my wife that she wished she could speak to me and get to know me. But then added (translated), "That's okay, I know who he is by looking at his eyes. He is kind and laid back."

Again, I was impressed with how little words had to do with how we communicate.

As dinner continued, the woman told stories. Clearly she was talking about her late husband. The the rest of the room was captivated and gave her their complete, compassionate attention.

I found myself doing the same. I was completely engrossed in her story, even though I could not understand her words. I didn't need to understand the words, because I understood the emotion behind them. As she was unraveling a painful recollection, I saw the deep sadness in her eyes and could physically feel how painful it was for her to have lost her husband.

I found myself getting choked up and my eyes watered. I had no idea what she was saying but I could feel it.

This experience has really moved me. It has allowed me to see things a little differently. It's like when someone loses one of their senses, like sight or hearing, and the other senses begin to develop more strongly to compensate. My inability to understand the Korean language fully forced me to tune in at a deeper level. One that is difficult to explain but certainly exists.

How can you tap into your intuition? How can you listen more deeply, with more than just your ears, when you are with your friends, family, spouse, colleagues, etc.?

Using your intuition can help you build stronger relationships, with more understanding and appreciation. It connects us all deeply and is the foundation of our invisible human bond.

I urge you to trust your gut. If you have an intuitive hit with someone or something, do something with it. Appreciate it. You, and those around you, will gain so much from that gift.

Gratitude

-by Matt Leedham

The other day, I was overwhelmed with a general sense of gratitude. I’ve learned why gratitude is so important, so I took a moment to think about why I felt so grateful. What was interesting is that my house, my car, and my “man cave” didn’t register on the list.

My gratitude was much more intangible…much more spiritual…much more connected to other people.

For example, I was grateful for:

• Having a life partner that supports me and makes me laugh
• My thirst for learning new things and my quest to “try out” new things I learn
• The experience of disconnecting and reconnecting with my brother after almost 20 years
• My love of writing and sharing ideas
• My in-laws for teaching me new things and welcoming me with open arms
• My fascination with travel, maps, food, culture, and world exploration
• My parents, my sister and brother in-law, and their kids for not judging my journey and supporting me along the way
• My dog for being kind and gentle, all while being very anxious (she reminds me of myself actually)

Only after I expressed gratitude for these things did I then begin to feel gratitude for material possessions. But I was not just grateful for my house. I was grateful for having a wonderful home to share with my wife as we build our lives together, and to be able to host friends and family for celebrations and holidays.

I was not just grateful for my car. I was grateful for having an accessible mode of transportation to get me around to see the people I love and do the things I love.

My man cave? Well, I was little grateful for my man cave. I mean, that thing is awesome!

But even that, after I let my ego chill out, turned out to be something more than just the material object. In fact, I am grateful that I have a comfortable place for my brother to stay when he visits.

I’m curious, what are you grateful for? Did you have the same experience I did?