Help Me, Help You, Help Others...

By Jaime Willis

As I mentioned last week, I am going to be attending Camp Mighty in just under two weeks.   Part of our homework assignment is to raise $200 for Charity: Water.  I didn't know a thing about Charity: Water until this assignment, but man, is this organization cool.  In the "teaching people to fish" vein, Charity: Water funds water projects that help people in developing nations that don't have access to clean water get it.  They don't just ship over pallets of bottled water -- they build wells.  Right now, they are fund raising to buy more drilling rigs and other machinery that is required for well-making.  It's not enough that they are drilling wells, they want to drill faster.  This is truly a scalable model for sustainability and a truly worthy cause.

If you are interested, take three and a half minutes of your time to watch their video:

I've been a little lax in my fundraising efforts thus far, but that is about to change.  I am raffling off an iPad (1st Generation) to raise money for Charity Water.  This is my old iPad, so it is used, although still in great shape.  It's a 64 GB 3g + wifi iPad and it comes with it's own case and usb charger.  It was $900 when I bought it last year, and the used versions are going for $400 - 500 on eBay right now. But you could win it for $5!  How awesome would that be?  (AWESOME.) 

For $5, you will have one chance to win the iPad.  How?  Go to Paypal.com, and buy as many raffle tickets as you'd like between now and 12:00pm (noon) EST Friday, November 4th.  I'll randomly pick a winner (using a random number generator) at 12:00pm and announce the winner here on our blog.  

You win either way -- each raffle ticket will help Charity: Water bring more clean water to those in need, and you may even get a iPad and I complete my Camp Mighty homework!  Win - Win - Win!  

Don't like iPads, but want to help?  Check out what my teammates are doing to raise money:

Eden is raffling off jewelry, a cool camera, and an Amazon gift card here.

Amy is raffling off a $25 gift card, homemade brownies, a mixed CD, and other stuff here.  

Lisa is selling some awesome artwork here.

Erica is baking banana bread in exchange for donations here.

Linz is offering 20% off her design services (logos, t-shirts, and more) here. 

Alison is selling greeting cards here. 

Leslie is giving away prints of your choosing for your donations here. 

Andrea of Four Flights of Fancy is selling ad space on her blog here. 

Christine and Asha are teaming up to raffle off a $350 gift basket here or here. 

Hierarchy of Happiness

By Jaime Willis

Yesterday, a few coaches and I were talking about how to help our clients improve their lives and increase their happiness.  Because happiness is such a personal and not-well-defined concept, it is hard for people to figure out how to achieve it.

You can easily tell me what you don't like:  living in a small town, working for a micro-manager, dating a cheater, friends that don't call you back, turn signals, but it harder to identify the real-world situations that would give your life daily happiness and contentment. (I say real world, because it is fairly easy for us to all imagine how we would live if we won the lottery, but the odds of this experience are unlikely, and who wants to pin their potential happiness on a roll of the dice?)

I certainly don't have all the answers myself, but here's my guesses as to what makes people happy, in order of priority:

1) Basic Needs Met.  It's hard to stay happy if you are thirsty, hungry, or tired, or ill.  It's hard to be happy if you are constantly worried about getting kicked out of your house, getting your phone shut off, or if you don't have enough money to wash and buy new clothes.   Until you are able to take care of yourself (and your family, if you have one) on the most basic level, your happiness will likely suffer.

Interestingly, though, this threshold is very low.  You don't have to live extravagantly or be able to eat out every night of the week to be happy -- plenty of folks with tight budgets meet their needs every month and feel no pain in doing so.  My sister-in-law and brother are great examples of this -- my brother is a pastor and my sister-in-law works part time.  They are frugal, but they lack for none of the basics in their lives and are satisfied with what they do have.

2) Passion and Purpose.  I think it is hard to be happy if you don't feel like your life has direction or meaning.  As humans, we have a need to be needed, and a need to be a part of something larger than ourselves.  For some people, this passion and purpose is grounded by their religious beliefs, for others, it's grounded by their internal moral compass and life experience.

Figuring out your "who" is a critical component to your happiness.  Who are you?  What do you believe in?  How to you want to express that?  This sense of purpose is energizing and can build your energy and zest for life.  Once you figure out who you are, you are then ready to build healthy connections with others.

3) Connection.   A social worker once showed me her definition of the ideal relationship.  She raised both her right and left hand and made "Peace" signs (index and middle fingers raised, ring and pinky fingers touching your thumbs).  Then she overlapped each hands index finger to make a "W" sign.   Each peace sign or V was one person in a relationship.  The overlap was the parts of your life that you shared with each other.  Her point was that healthy (and happy) relationships (with family, friends, or significant others) don't "complete" you, they just add to your experience.

A friend of mine is fond of saying, "you don't get all your nuts from the same tree."  Same idea -- humans crave connection with each other -- we need a variety of relationships with our friends, with our family, and with our partners to fulfill our lives and help bring us meaning.

This may not be an exhaustive list, but I think it's a good start to finding your way to happiness.  

Photo Worthy

-by Matt Leedham

For nearly three weeks in Korea, the 6 of us (my in-laws, my wife’s sister and husband, and my wife and I) took over 3,000 pictures of our experience. Even I was impressed, and I like to take pictures.

I volunteered to take on the responsibility of sorting through the pictures, organizing them, and distributing them. After hours of work, I am almost done.

There were beautiful pictures...

There were heartwarming pictures...

There were multi-generational pictures...

There were funny pictures...

This morning, I asked my wife why it is that we took so many pictures. She gave the obvious answer…we want to remember the good times we had. Fair enough.

But I had more questions. Why were those moments so memorable? Why take pictures of the memorable moments? If they are memorable, won’t we remember them? Is it because they were unique and we want to share them?

I began to question why we don’t take 160 pictures per day all the time. Why don’t we want to capture every moment? Why aren’t we as proud of or as interested in every moment? Do some moments carry more weight? Are they more important?

I feel blessed that I am fortunate to have a camera and a desire to write because I feel that I have documented our Korean adventure quite well and we’ll be able to enjoy both the pictures and the stories for many years. But I am left questioning the importance of recording and capturing every other moment in my life.

Some people have taken on a challenge of a picture a day for one year, like our good friend Jeff Drongowski. Others have taken on that challenge but for longer, like Dave Lesh who speaks on the topic frequently.

The idea is to take one picture per day that captures the essence of how you felt or what you experienced. It’s more challenging than you might think, but the experience, according to them, changes your perspective on life. In fact, you end up creating more memorable moments so that you can record them.

We have limited time on this earth. Are you making the most of it? Is every moment, even during your daily routine, special and memorable? Don’t you think it should be? Capture it, record it, write about it, share it with others, and appreciate every experience you have.

Weekly Wednesday Inspiration #38

By Jaime Willis

HT: Reddit

A recent Seth Godin post gave the following anecdote:

A friend was waiting to hear about the results of a job interview. He hadn't heard in a while and he asked me, "how long before I should start worrying?"

Of course, the answer is, "You should never start worrying."

Worrying is not a useful output. Worrying doesn't change outcomes. Worrying ruins your day. Worrying distracts you from the work at hand. You may have fooled yourself into thinking that it's useful or unavoidable, but it's not. Now you've got one more thing to worry about. 

Not Better or Worse, Just Different

-by Matt Leedham

Less than 24 hours after being in Seoul, South Korea, I find myself with my wife, her sister and husband, and my in-laws walking down a narrow street near Myeong Dong. Scooters and mopeds with modified cargo bins on the back zip through the crowded alley, alight with various signs that are blinking, digitally scrolling, inflated, or moving. My Abunim (father-in-law) spots a restaurant to his liking and we scurry in, sitting 6 to a table that in America might comfortable seat 2 or 3.

The order is placed. The restaurant has maybe 15 tables and they were all packed, steam rising from the hot pots on each one that were cooking over an open flame. Empty soju bottles littered each table, and the din was more like that of a stock exchange trading floor than a restaurant.

I’m looking toward the back of the restaurant and I see waitresses using a net to dip deep into a 20+ gallon tank to scoop up 2lb-ish octopuses. This piqued my interest as to what I was about to eat. I have eaten plenty of cooked octopus and squid in Japanese, Korean, and American restaurants. But what I saw next alarmed me.

There was some commotion to my left. I turned to see a man and a woman seated a small table. He was in a suit and tie and she was dressed fashionably. They were calmly seeking the assistance of a waitress. When the waitress noticed what they needed, she bolted for the back of the restaurant and grabbed some tongs.

There was a live octopus that had successfully maneuvered out of their boiling pot of noodles, onto the table, and was clearly thinking about rappelling down the wooden leg of the table.

It was shocking for sure, but also entertaining as we all seemed to get a good chuckle.

Then our super hot serving platter of noodles arrived.

The waitress was holding a plate with a live octopus in it. She grabbed the octopus with some tongs, and shoved in the noodle dish on our table. She covered it with the contents of the dish so it was buried. I thought, “Okay, okay. This isn’t so bad…I can’t even see it.”

Then the octopus realized it was in a super hot pile of noodles and started trying to get out. Its tentacles moved all over the place, its head popped out of the top, and it was clearly straining. The struggle slowed as it cooked and eventually, it was done. The waitress used scissors to cut the octopus up into bite-size pieces and left us to enjoy our dish.

I’m a very open-minded person and love to travel, so I forced out the internal thought, “That was…um…different.” And then I ate.

This experience got me thinking. What judgments do I have around food, diet, culture, style, etc. I looked around. The restaurant is packed. People have sought out this restaurant for its fresh seafood, and are enjoying their meal. Why was my response immediately to be shocked?

For starters, it was unique to me. I’ve never eaten a dish like this, nor have I even seen something like this on TV. Second, I’ve been conditioned for 33 years to eat a certain way and have developed countless expectations about what is normal and what is not.

Sure, eating a pizza is normal for me, but there wasn’t a pizza joint for miles (and if there were it would have things like bulgogi meat and corn on it). Eating fresh seafood is absolutely normal for Koreans who live on peninsula and have depended on seafood for millennia.

What foods do we eat in America that might be considered a little weird? My family always enjoyed lobster as a treat, or when celebrating a special occasion. Occasionally, my mom would even bring home live lobster, with their claws banded, to cook at home. Is there anything strange about that?

Let’s see. First of all, lobsters are bottom-feeding, scavenging spiders of the sea. It’s actually kind of gross when you think about it. And when cooking them at home, you boil a pot of water, and drop them in head first (to limit the suffering…haha!). Then we wear silly bibs to protect our clothing, crack them open with primitive tools, eat with our hands, and create a sloppy mess within a 5-foot radius.

Still sound appealing? Try ordering a shellfish platter at the Capital Grille while hosting a group of high-ranking Muslim Turks and watch their expression (this actually happened to Jaime and I a few years ago). They’ll be repulsed and offended.

We have created layers and layers of judgments about what is normal over the years. All of our experiences have developed very significant definitions about what we “like” and “don’t like.”

But what if we release those judgments for a minute? What if we can convince ourselves that things aren’t better or worse, they’re just different. For something to be better or worse means that we have judged and labeled it as such. That kind of thinking can be very limiting.

My 3-week journey introduced me to food, places and people that were unique. With limited beliefs, my trip would have been long and exhausting. With an open mind of non-judgment, every day was a breathtaking adventure of new and wonderful experiences.

In what ways are your judgments and limited beliefs holding you back from experiencing life with wonderment and joy? Think about it.

NOTE: I could have written pages and pages about other unique experiences that challenged my thoughts around what is normal and not normal, such as sleeping on the floor, bumping into people in crowded areas, or running red lights. I also could have also used countless examples of other “weird” things we do in America, such as drink 32 ounces of soda at a time, or go “dutch” (i.e. split checks) on dates or with friends, or call our elders by their first name. These are all things that Koreans find alarming, strange, or unique in America. Keep an open mind and at least acknowledge that these judgments exist!

My Life List

By Jaime Willis

A few years ago, veteran blogger and internet maven Maggie Mason decided to write a Life List.  This isn't a new idea, and Maggie certainly wasn't trying to start a revolution -- she just wanted a list of things that she could accomplish written out for her and her readers to see.  The difference with Maggie's Life List is that she's doing it.  Making plans, big and small, to cross off items on her life list.  Her Life List truly has taken on a life of its own -- companies have sponsored some of her items and she created an  'summit' to bring together some of her favorite internet friends together in person to life-list-it together.

This year, Maggie went even further.  With her partner in crime, The Queso's Laura Mayes, they've created "Camp Mighty."  Camp Mighty is a three-day 150 people super-summit for regular folks to tackle their life lists in a really neat way.

Of course, I'm going.

I'll be honest -- I'm so excited to be a part of this because Maggie and Laura are so fun in their blogs, I'm certain they'll be as fun in person.  But I'm also a little bit nervous.  I'm not bringing anyone with me -- so it'll be just like real camp -- walking into a room with a 150 strangers and hoping you walk out with 150 (or at least one or two!) great friends.

One of our homework assignments is to create (or update) our Life List.  Since I've never really sat down and written a full list of awesome things I want to do, I'm creating mine now.

And, fair warning, I'm going to cheat a little bit to add in some of the really cool things I've already accomplished that I'm pretty proud of. I'm sure I'll be adding and subtracting, but here's what I have so far.

Jaime's Life List

Travel/Location

1. Visit all seven continents (North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Australia, Africa, Antarctica) 

2. Visit all fifty U.S. States (Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming)

3. Visit the top 50 cities in the Foreign Policy Index (New York, London, Tokyo, Paris, Hong Kong, Chicago, Los Angeles, Singapore, Sydney, Seoul, Brussels, San Francisco, Washington D.C., Toronto, Beijing, Berlin, Madrid, Vienna, Boston, Shanghai, Buenos Aires, Stockholm, Zurich, Moscow, Barcelona, Dubai, Rome, Amsterdam, Mexico City, Montreal, Geneva, Miami, Munich, Sao Paolo, Bangkok, Copenhagen, Houston, Taipai, Atlanta, Istanbul, Milan, Cairo, Dublin, New Delhi, Mumbai, Osaka, Kuala Lumpur, Rio de Janeiro, Tel Aviv)

4. Visit at least 50 countries (Antigua, Argentina, Australia, Austria, Bahamas, Bahrain, Barbardos, Belgium, Belize, Bolivia, Brazil, Cambodia, Canada, Chile, China, Costa Rica, Cuba, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Egypt, England, Ethiopia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Guatemala, Guyana, Haiti, Honduras, Hungary, Iceland, India, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Kazakhstan, Kenya, South Korea, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Mexico, Monaco, Morocco, Nepal, Netherlands, New Zealand, Nicaragua, Norway, Northern Ireland, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia, St. Kitts, St. Lucia, Samoa, San Marino, Scotland, Sierra Leone, Singapore, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand, Trinidad, Turkey, Ukraine, United States, Uruguay, Vanuatu, Vatican City, Venezuela, Vietnam, Wales)

5. Live in New York City (at least part time).  

6. Buy a cottage in Michigan. 

Health

1.  Reach Goal Weight (-35 lbs from today's weight); Maintain it (+/- 10 lbs) for 2 years in a row.  (I've reached the goal weight in question in 2009, but didn't keep it off.  I'd like to get down there again and keep it off!) Total weight lost: -25 | -50 | -75 | -100 | -125  | -150

2.  Run, run, run! (5k, 8k, 10k, 15k (Running Hot Chocolate 15k in December 2011), Half-Marathon, Sprint Triathlon, International Triathlon, 50 10ks in 2011)

3.  Be stronger!  (50 real pushups in a row (10 | 20 | 30 | 40 | 50),  1 pull-up, 100 sit-ups in a row, 3-min plank)

Education

1. Graduate! (Bachelors, Juris Doctor, Masters, Medical Doctor (I know this one is not likely to happen unless I get fabulously wealthy, but I don't want to give up all hope!)) 

2.  Credentials (Pass New York Bar Exam, Get Sworn In, Get ELI-MP Certified, Get Associate Certified Coach Credential) 

Finances

1. Pay off Student Loans.

2.  Have eight months of savings. 

3.  Buy a house. 

4. Pay cash for a car. 

5. Be able to work for myself full-time. 

6. Buy some real artwork for my house (Done and Done!). 

Cool Experiences

1.  Zipline through the rain forest of Costa Rica. 

2. Climb the Wallace Monument in Scotland. 

3. Watch the sunset in Oia, Greece.

4. See the Sistine Chapel.

5. Touch a real Van Gogh (don't tell, but I touched it very carefully!). 

6. See inside a Volcano (at Pompei and New Mexico). 

7. Visit the remains of Pompei. 

8.  See Stonehenge. 

9.  Ride a camel to the Egyptian Pyramids.

10.  Ride a boat in Cambodia. 

11. Have a hot-air balloon ride.

12.  Take a class at Trapeze School. 

13.  Parasail over a Tropical Island. 

14.  Take a Zero-G ride.

15.  Go on a vacation with the whole big family. 

16.  See Wootstock live. 

17.  See a TED talk live.

18.  Be on a Oprah show. 

19.  Be interviewed by the Today Show.

20.  Write a book.  (Want to write another one though). 

21.  Take a flight booked the same day.

22.  Try Parkour. 

23.  Rappel down something.

24.  Run an obstacle course confidently. 

25.  Play in a Scrabble Tournament.

26.  Run the bases at Yankee Stadium.

27.  Make cookies with my nephews.

28.  Visit the first Starbucks store. 

29.  Spend a summer at the beach. 

30.  Set up a college scholarship.

31.  Make a (silver jewelry) ring from scratch.

32.  Chase a Tornado. 

33.  Eat at a 4-star restaurant, watch a Broadway show, and stay in a glitzy hotel in New York City. 

34. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.

35. See the Northern Lights. 

36. Do a talk in front of a crowd of 1,000+.

37.  Pick a lock. 

38.  Be quoted.

39.  Learn at least one dance. 

40.  Take a painting class.

41. Climb Dumyat. 

Be Like Finland?

By Jaime Willis

For educators, reformers and wonks, Finland has, in the past several years, become the 'gold standard' of effective public K-12 education.

Finland, a county in the icy north of Europe, has a population of about 5.3 million people, roughly the same population and climate of the State of Minnesota.

In 1971, the government of Finland commissioned a study on their public education that conclude that education was the key to boosting the national economy.  As a result, they instituted several reforms to their current education model: reducing class sizes, boosting teacher pay, and requiring all teachers to complete a rigorous master's program (the last reform was given 8 years of preparation time so the existing work force had time to comply).


What is perhaps more notable than what they chose to do is what they chose NOT to do.  Finland soundly rejected the standardized testing model -- students in Finland are only required to take one standardized exam at the end of their schooling as a college entrance test.  Finnish teachers have a federal curriculum, but use it as a guide for creating their own lesson plans and designing their own course structure.  Finland also doesn't track students (honors/remedial courses) and doesn't have struggling/failing students repeat grades.

The results are pretty impressive.  The 2009 Program for International Student Assessment (PISA), an exam covering math, science, and reading and given every three years to 15-year-olds around the world showed Finnish students scoring 3rd in the world in reading, 2nd in science, and 6th in math.  The United States, by contrast, was 31st (in a field of 65) in reading and math and 23rd in science.

Since the 1971 reforms, K-12 teaching in Finland has become an esteemed career.  The country's Masters in Education programs are so popular that only 1 student in 9 or 10 is accepted.  The best and brightest, and frequently most passionate educators are saturated throughout the entire public school system, rather than targeted in small pockets of "good" school districts.  As a result, the difference between the "best" and "worst" public schools in Finland is negligible -- all students are doing the same, regardless of their race, ethnicity, or economic status.

So, the question of the hour is how can we in the United States take these research-based reforms that are working so well in a tiny homogenous country in Europe and apply them to a country whose population is almost 60 times greater?

I'd think it be really interesting to have a state serve as an incubator for this model.  Mississippi may be a great test case.  The state has a population of under 3 million, and their students consistently score in the bottom quartile in standardized tests.  Could Mississippi State work with their public universities to create a rigorous master's program? Could the state afford to boost the salary of public educators across the state to entice graduates to stay in Mississippi and teach?  Could the local economy support the infrastructure changes required to reduce class sizes? How differently would Mississippi look 10 years from now if it were able to start making these changes today?

Finland has a bursting high-tech market with companies like Nokia leading the way.  Could Mississippi become the next Silicon Valley?

What challenges do you think any state faces in introducing Finnish education reforms?  Are any states introducing these reforms already and if so, to what effect?

I know I am excited by the idea of breeding a fertile ground for passionate educators and this reform model seems like one great way to do it.

---
Research on this post comes, in part, from a great article in The New Republic entitled "Children Must Play." 

Gazing Southward

-by Matt Leedham

A couple of years ago, I remember gazing southward to the horizon.  All I could see was the ocean meeting the sky, a thin line denoting the border between the two.  Ninety miles away was the island nation of Cuba.  As I stood there in Key West, I was fascinated that all that separated us was water. 

Today, I had the same fascination.  Again, I stood looking southward, barely able to tell the ocean from the sky.  This time, the next landmass emerged from the sea over 2,000 miles south in the Philippines.  I was at the southernmost point on the Southern most island in South Korea.

I treasure these moments because they center me, giving me a calibrating point from which to understand my exact position in the world.  Somehow it gives me a better sense of where I am, where I've come from, and where I'm going.  I find great peace in these places.

You may not share my excitement for such moments.  That's okay.  I've recently learned that I'm part of a unique, underground band of nerds called "mapheads." 

Before I left for this amazing journey in Korea, Jaime gave me a book written by the one and only Ken Jennings.  You may recognize his name because of his unprecedented run on the TV gameshow Jeopardy!  He holds the record for winning 74 games in a row and also holds the record for the most earnings in gameshow history.  

His new book, appropriately named, "Mapheads," reveals the closet nerdery of people like me.  I wish I could explain why I love maps so much, or why I can read and interpret them so well, but I can't.  If you're like me, you'll understand.

My interest in maps means that GPS devices also grab my attention.  The one we're using here in Korea is the best I've ever seen.  It will tell you what lane to drive in, warn you of speed bumps, and calculate distance-metered tolls.  It's really amazing.

The unfortunate result of the increased use of GPS devices is that people rely less on their own abilities to read a map and calculate their own directions.  I hope it doesn't squash any young, budding mapheads out there.

But there is a lesson to be learned from a GPS device.  It relentlessly recalculates the route any time you get off course.  Even though there is a kind, female voice coming from the box, there is no emotion behind the need to recalculate.  There is no frustration in the device when you take a wrong turn.  There is no getting upset or feeling down if an error is made.  The device simply calculates where it is currently and immediately produces a solution to get to the desired destination.

What do you do to calibrate...to get your bearing?  As our lives are filled with unending tasks and goals, do you stop and take a moment to come back to center? 

I'm guilty of it too.  In fact, before I left for Korea I had been pushing myself way too hard without finding center.  What works for me is water.  I gain great peace and clarity when near water, such as in the example above.  But rivers and lakes work too.  What's your thing?  

And once you've calibrated your position, you may need to recalculate your route.  This is a beautiful thing because it means your are moving and making progress.

I meet so many good, talented people that are afraid to pull the trigger on a project or dream or career.  They have many fears around failing, or their self image or self worth.  This is completely normal to feel this way.

The key is to move.  A GPS device won't recalculate if you are parked.  Start moving, slowly if you need to, and you will quickly learn what adjustments to make to reach your desired destination.

---

I'm signing off from Korea.  Next time you hear from me (on the 25th), I will have just gotten back to the States.  This has been an incredible adventure for which I will forever be grateful.  I hope you enjoyed reading about my experiences as much as I have enjoyed writing about them.  I'm sure there will be more to share as the weeks and months move forward and I process all that I have done and learned.

Weekly Wednesday Inspiration #37

By Jaime Willis


Be a strategic underdog!

In 2002, Steven Bradbury was the Australian Olympian in short track speed skating.  With American Apollo Ohno in the 2002 games, the likelihood of Steven winning a gold medal was slim to none.  In fact, before 2002, there was no southern hemisphere country that had won gold in a Winter Olympic event.

The 1000 meter race was Bradbury's fourth of the day, and he knew he didn't have the raw speed to beat any of the competitors.  So his plan was to hang at the back of the pack and hope that his competition wiped out, as frequently happens on the speed skating track.  With four competitors, only two needed to collide for him to medal.

What happens next is the stuff of legend.  With just 50 meters to go, all FOUR competitors wipe out and Steven skates past them to win gold -- a first for him, his country, and the entire southern hemisphere!

Lots of folks have said Bradbury's victory is a hollow one, but I disagree.  Bradbury knew he wasn't a front runner, but competed strategically.

"I was the oldest bloke in the field and I knew that, skating four races back to back, I wasn't going to have any petrol left in the tank. So there was no point in getting there and mixing it up because I was going to be in last place anyway. So (I figured) I might as well stay out of the way and be in last place and hope that some people get tangled up."

It's ok to be the underdog and there are even advantages to it.  Use those advantages strategically and you may end up with Gold!

Driving in Korea

-by Matt Leedham

We all live by a certain set of rules.  We may not even realize what rules we've set for ourselves, but they're there.  And they can be highly limiting if we remain unaware.

Some rules have been set by our societal influences.  For example, men may feel pressure to be the bread winner in a relationship.  Similarly, women may feel pressure to be the caregiver.

Some rules have been set by our local or national governments.  Stealing, for example, is illegal in almost every society I am aware of.  Also, if there are roads and cars, stopping at red lights is usually a rule.

And some rules have been set in our minds by us, based on the experiences we have lived through.  Some people may think that they're not cut out to be successful in business because they aren't savvy or smart enough, or think that success in business and a happy family life are not compatible.  Some may think that they aren't witty enough, or funny enough, or good looking enough to be in a successful relationship.

Let me tell you something about rules that I learned in Korea.  They are at minimum negotiable, and at best breakable.

Driving in Korea is not nearly as exhilarating as driving in Turkey, India, or Costa Rica, but it is a great example of a modern nation with completely negotiable rules.  

Stopping at a red light?  Not guaranteed.

Yielding to pedestrians in a crosswalk?  Absolutely not.

The stop lights look the same (sort of).  And the crosswalks and pedestrian signs resemble that of the U.S.  So , what's the difference?

My interpretation is that societal pressures to conform in that way are not there.  And without the societal norm forcing others into submission, people started creating their own rules.

If you live in the DC area, you are familiar with the Beltway.  If you're not, the Beltway is a highway that surrounds the DC metro area in a big circle.  The speed limit is 55 miles per hour (mph).  The minimum speed limit is 35 mph.  But what happens when you are driving 48 mph?  Angry drivers are on you like white on rice, honking their horn, flashing there lights, or (if they are kind), speed up and zip around you like an Formula 1 race car driver.

Why do they do this?  It's perfectly legal to drive 48 mph on the Beltway.  What gives?

The problem is, by driving 48 mph, you are breaking an unwritten, societal norm (rule).  The herd is trying to force you back into submission by sending both aggressive and passive aggressive signals your way.

So, if Koreans can drive on the shoulder and run a red light without any problem, and if you don't like being forced into submission by societal pressures, what rules can you break?  

Don't get me wrong, and please don't break any laws.  But take a moment to examine the written and unwritten rules that govern your life.  What purpose are they serving?  Are they benefiting you and others?  What if you decided to rewrite one of those rules?  Or throw one out altogether?  

If given a chance, what new rule could you create for yourself?  Would it be one that limits you?  Or one that serves you, allows you to live by your values, and moves you toward your vision?

As always, the choice is yours.

Intuition Without Borders

-by Matt Leedham

I've spent a lot of time this year reflecting on intuition. What exactly is it and how can I use it to help others?

I have found that when I tap into and trust my intuition, good things happen for me and others. Apparently I know things I don't know I know, and am highly perceptive and sensitive to other's feelings.

The last week I've spent in Korea has reconfirmed and reaffirmed my intuition. In the books and articles I've read on this wonderful country, they often speak of the tight bond the Korean people have with each other. My wife speaks of it too.

Having witnessed this bond myself, I feel confident that we are all connected by something much deeper than bloodlines, friendships, and proximity. There is something unexplainable that connects humans to each other. I can't describe it in detail, but I will share 3 things that happened to me yesterday that has me pondering this notion with greater intensity.

Over lunch, Halmuhni (my wife's grandmother) would tell stories about Korean culture and history. My wife would try to translate as much as possible, but I had some questions of my own. The dialog went back and forth for awhile through our translator, but I could tell that Halmuhni was energized by my inquisitive questions.

As we stood up to leave, she admitted that she was sad that she couldn't communicate with me directly, wishing that we could just sit and chat and get to know each other better.

Then she added (translated), "That's okay, we don't need words...our hearts can communicate."

That was deep.

But she's absolutely right. Without being able to say it, she knows that I care for her and love her. And I know that it brings her great joy to be a grandma to me...making sue I have enough to eat, that I sleep well, and that I am always comfortable.

Later that day we arrived in Yeosu and met up with a woman and her daughter for dinner. This was a special meal. My Abunim (father-in-law) had a childhood friend that used to live in Yeosu and this was his wife and daughter. Tragically, Abunim's best friend was killed in a car accident a couple of years ago. I was told that this may be an emotional meeting, but I didn't quite process what that meant.

When we sat down for dinner, the daughter told my wife that she wished she could speak to me and get to know me. But then added (translated), "That's okay, I know who he is by looking at his eyes. He is kind and laid back."

Again, I was impressed with how little words had to do with how we communicate.

As dinner continued, the woman told stories. Clearly she was talking about her late husband. The the rest of the room was captivated and gave her their complete, compassionate attention.

I found myself doing the same. I was completely engrossed in her story, even though I could not understand her words. I didn't need to understand the words, because I understood the emotion behind them. As she was unraveling a painful recollection, I saw the deep sadness in her eyes and could physically feel how painful it was for her to have lost her husband.

I found myself getting choked up and my eyes watered. I had no idea what she was saying but I could feel it.

This experience has really moved me. It has allowed me to see things a little differently. It's like when someone loses one of their senses, like sight or hearing, and the other senses begin to develop more strongly to compensate. My inability to understand the Korean language fully forced me to tune in at a deeper level. One that is difficult to explain but certainly exists.

How can you tap into your intuition? How can you listen more deeply, with more than just your ears, when you are with your friends, family, spouse, colleagues, etc.?

Using your intuition can help you build stronger relationships, with more understanding and appreciation. It connects us all deeply and is the foundation of our invisible human bond.

I urge you to trust your gut. If you have an intuitive hit with someone or something, do something with it. Appreciate it. You, and those around you, will gain so much from that gift.

Wednesday Weekly Inspiration #36

By Jaime Willis

Time So Fly

-by Matt Leedham

Greetings from Korea, friends!

"Time so fly."

-my Abunim

For the last 6+ years, I've listened to my father-in-law say that.

For those that don't know me well, my wife is Korean, and therefore, so are my in-laws. My father-in-law (Abunim) and my mother-in-law (Aumuhni) immigrated to the States when they were in their 20's, bringing with them my wife and her sister at the ages of 9 and 7 respectively.

Abunim's English is not that great, but that doesn't stop him from talking up a storm. He's one of the most engaging, gregarious people I know. He also has no shame, very little inhibitions, and will always say what's on his mind.

In fact, I remember one of the first times I met him. He looked at me, patted his belly, and said, "You don't exercise much, do you?"

I'll admit, I was a little taken aback with the comment. But I've come to learn that his bluntness comes from a genuine place of concern, not judgement. And now it is something that I admire and respect about him.

Anytime there is a family gathering or celebration, there is usually soju involved. Soju is an alcoholic rice wine and is Korea's equivalent to Japan's sake (but in my humble opinion is more versatile and fun to drink). When drinking soju at these gatherings, we clink glasses, say "gunbae!" (Korean for "cheers!") and put back an ounce of the good stuff.

Abunim always adds, "time so fly..."

When he first said this, I was confused. When Yu Jin (my wife) explained that he meant "time flys" I laughed out loud. Here he was reminiscing about old times and lamenting the fact that time moves so quickly, yet the words were just incorrect enough to make it funny. We now say "time so fly" anytime we celebrate, regardless of Abunim's presence.

But something happened the other night that gave me pause. I was forced to stop and think for a minute about time. I was actually completely engrossed in stories of what Korea was like 30 years ago and began to realize that time does, indeed, so fly.

Yu Jin's Halmuhni (grandmother) was telling stories of my wife's childhood before she left for America. I sat there at a restaurant overlooking the ocean on the west coast of Korea, listening to Halmuhni tell amusing tales of how she helped raise Yu Jin while her parents worked. When she was little, Yu Jin would stay outside all day playing with friends. And even when the sun went down and it got dark, she wouldn't come in. Halmuhni would have to chase after her and force her to come home.

There were times that Yu Jin, at 5 and 6 years old, would cry out for her parents when they were working. She would tell her Halmuhni that she didn't care about anything else...she just wanted her parents to be there. Like any child, the most valuable currency was her parents' time.

As Halmuhni shared her stories with much animation, Yu Jin and her sister, Yu Ra, had big smiles and some tears. It was a beautiful, emotional moment. I was honored to be there.

Nearly 30 years later, so much has changed. Everyone is older. People and places have developed. Time so fly.

I thought about my own life, just 10 years ago. My life has changed so much and so dramatically, that it's hard to comprehend. And 10 years from now, things will be much different.

But what seems to be consistent is that the speed at which time passes is relative. Time can move so slow and yet so fast. In the moment, minutes and hours can sometimes seem to drag on. Other times, they move at warp speed.

However, whenever I look back at my younger self, I always think that things have moved so quickly. Knowing this, I have a greater appreciation for the present moment.

The bottom line is, there is no practice run in life. There are no "do-overs." We've got this life to live, to appreciate, and to make the most of. Don't settle and don't wait for the right moment. Now is the right moment. Take advantage of what time you have been given and make the most of it.

Take some action on something you've been meaning to do. Have that difficult conversation you've been thinking about. Tell those around you how you feel about them.

This precious gift continues to move forward...day after day. Live it fully and live it well.
.

It's all about Character!

By Jaime Willis

Happy Monday!  I just got back from a very fun three days visiting some of my family, including my adorable nephews, 3 year old Landon and 2 year old Tate.

Tate, left, and Landon at the Pumpkin Patch.

Visiting them (and, let's be honest, spoiling them!) reminded me of a recent article I read in the New Yorker about character. My brother and sister-in-law are doing a wonderful job of raising their boys, so I am confident that my "all fun - few rules" visits are not corrupting them too much.

But, as we all know, raising kids is both hard work and serious business.  Some of the work of educators is ultimately devoted to finding ways to encourage the positive character traits of their students while also teaching them skills and concepts in reading, writing, math, history, and science.

Martin Seligman, a 'positivity psychologist' and Christopher Peterson, a psychology professor at University of Michigan, wrote a (possibly "the") book on character: Character Strengths and Virtues.  In it, they outlines 24 immutable traits that they believe define good character.  The New Yorker article follows two schools, KIPP, a urban charter school system filled with mostly low-income youth, and Riverdale Country School, one of New York's most prestigious private schools, in their pursuit of purposefully injecting character into the school curriculum.

What an interesting thought experiment!

I thought about my nephews -- how do you explain, teach, embody, and discipline a toddler in a way that consciously helps them build character?

Imagine this:  It is one 'o clock on Sunday afternoon, at least 30 minutes past the time when the boys normally eat.  We are getting an 8 person-tribe of family together at a local restaurant for dinner.  We arrive at the restaurant hungry, only to learn that there will be a one-hour wait for a table.  The adults grumble a bit, hit their smart phones for alternative restaurant choices in the area, and decide to wait it out.  But the 2 and 3 year old only know that they are hungry.  No only aren't they being fed, but they are wearing nice outfits and in the lobby of a restaurant where they can't crawl around on the floor playing with toys or loudly chasing each other around.

We are asking them to embody the character trait, as described by Seligman and Peterson, of Self-Regulation.

B.F. Skinner, the father of behavioral psychology, wrote of a similar experiment in his novel Walden Two. In it, children aged three and four were given a lollipop covered in powered sugar, so a single taste could be detected.  They are told they will be able to eat the lollipop later if it hasn't been licked.  The children quickly learn to conceal the temptation (hide their lollipop out of view) and to distract themselves with something else -- say an interesting toy or game.  After a few lessons, the children are become adept at utilizing self control.

Back at the restaurant, I quickly pulled out my iPad and turned on a favorite show for the boys.  They happily sat in the lobby watching the show until our names were called.  Only when we sat down to the table did they remember they were hungry.  The adults distracted themselves in conversation, and my sister-in-law even turned the waiting into a game -- each fifteen minutes we went we were "one lap" closer to the finish line.

Landon, left, and Tate watching a show while waiting for lunch.

Next time you are waiting in line or stuck in traffic, why not think of your circumstances as an opportunity to exercise a great character trait! After all, being upset or angry about things you can't change only serves to make you unhappy.

Just Go

-by Matt Leedham

Twenty-four hours ago, I departed for Seoul, South Korea with my beautiful wife and in-laws. We bought our plane tickets for this trip in December of 2010. We have been slowly planning this three-week excursion for 10 months. The four days prior to departing were filled with tons of to-do’s, chores, errands, and tying up loose ends. Packing was an epic adventure of guessing what I will need in an environment and climate that I cannot accurately predict.

After all of this planning and preparing and talking about it, I still didn’t feel prepared. I thought, “I must be forgetting something.” Or, “what have I not thought of?” Sometimes, I would respond with, “Ah! The power adapter for our electronics! I knew I was forgetting something.” This, of course, only confirmed my doubt that I was not prepared enough.

Eventually, the time comes. You must go. The flight crew (and the 251 other passengers) will not wait for us if we are late. Callously, they will leave us behind, westward bound without much consideration, if we are just a moment late. So, you force yourself to go. You ease your anxiety by telling yourself that if you forget anything, you can always buy it at your destination.

And if you’re like me, the result of all of this is usually the same. Everything turns out to be JUST FINE!

Don’t get me wrong. My planning and thinking about what I’ll need likely saved me a few heartaches. But in general, it won’t affect how amazing my trip will be if I forget my floss.

So, what are you waiting on in life? What have you been planning and planning, and thinking about and thinking about? What are you postponing because you don’t think you’re quite ready yet?

I urge you to JUST GO! Just start moving…begin the journey. Trust yourself that you will figure it out along the way. Trust that you have access to resources and people that will help you. In fact, they will be more likely to help you if you are on your way. After all, everyone can talk…not as many people DO.

Weekly Wednesday Inspiration #35

By Jaime Willis

HT: retsevi86

Gratitude

-by Matt Leedham

The other day, I was overwhelmed with a general sense of gratitude. I’ve learned why gratitude is so important, so I took a moment to think about why I felt so grateful. What was interesting is that my house, my car, and my “man cave” didn’t register on the list.

My gratitude was much more intangible…much more spiritual…much more connected to other people.

For example, I was grateful for:

• Having a life partner that supports me and makes me laugh
• My thirst for learning new things and my quest to “try out” new things I learn
• The experience of disconnecting and reconnecting with my brother after almost 20 years
• My love of writing and sharing ideas
• My in-laws for teaching me new things and welcoming me with open arms
• My fascination with travel, maps, food, culture, and world exploration
• My parents, my sister and brother in-law, and their kids for not judging my journey and supporting me along the way
• My dog for being kind and gentle, all while being very anxious (she reminds me of myself actually)

Only after I expressed gratitude for these things did I then begin to feel gratitude for material possessions. But I was not just grateful for my house. I was grateful for having a wonderful home to share with my wife as we build our lives together, and to be able to host friends and family for celebrations and holidays.

I was not just grateful for my car. I was grateful for having an accessible mode of transportation to get me around to see the people I love and do the things I love.

My man cave? Well, I was little grateful for my man cave. I mean, that thing is awesome!

But even that, after I let my ego chill out, turned out to be something more than just the material object. In fact, I am grateful that I have a comfortable place for my brother to stay when he visits.

I’m curious, what are you grateful for? Did you have the same experience I did?