Water Your Dream

-by Matt Leedham

This past weekend, my wife and I did some major landscaping work. Well, I should say, we had someone do some major landscaping work. We have a very small property in the city, so the work only took a few guys one day to complete. However, it can’t end there. In fact, they just got us started. The real works comes in the days, weeks and months ahead.

As it turns out, the most critical time for new plants is the first 3 weeks they are in the ground. During this time, the amount of sun, water, and added nutrients each plant gets is essential. Plants actually need four things:

1. Water – so that the roots can grow strong, stable, and hydrate the rest of the plant
2. Sun – to convert into energy that builds strong stems, leaves, and beautiful flowers
3. Nutrients – to accelerate growth and allow for the plants’ full potential
4. Protection – from weather, insects, birds, and other critters (in our case, squirrels!)

While plants need all of these things throughout their lives, they especially need them in the beginning. Plants, like humans, can experience shock when thrown into a new environment. Everything is very delicate and they need help settling in to their new life.

What the heck does this have to do with achieving more?

When setting a new goal, or going after a life-long dream, you also need these four things. And much like plants, the first 3 weeks is delicate. You need extra care when starting out on something new to allow that goal to get settled and flourish in your life. Much like plants, you will need:

1. Water – the live-giving nature of water is much like the goal-giving nature of inspiration. You need that constant inspiration and drive to continue onward.
2. Sun – for strength, what is your ‘sun?’ What is the power source of strength in your life? Is it your family? Is it your faith? Is it education?
3. Nutrients – humans need growth accelerants too. We need to celebrate our successes, find mentors, and be coached forward.
4. Protection – I once heard that the beginning of human inspiration is like a tiny whisper of a flame. It must be protected or even the slightest breeze will blow it out, never to return again in the same way.

Protecting your dream, your motivation, and your inspiration is so important when things are new. It can so easily disappear with the slightest obstacle, challenge, or negative influence in your life. Your goal or dream needs to get settled and build strong roots to flourish.

So, go on! Give your dream the water, sun, and nutrients it needs. But most important, vigorously protect it from the elements.

It's Never Too Late!

-By Jaime Willis

"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."  ~Thomas Paine

Happy Memorial Day to all of us in the United States and Happy Monday to the rest of the world.  If you are or were a member of the military, thank you so much for your service!  We appreciate you! 

John's Flag
1954-55
by Jasper Johns
Encaustic, oil, and collage on fabric, mounted on plywood
The Museum of Modern Art, New York

----

Sometimes, we let THOUGHTS get in the way of our dreams -- can you believe that?  Sometimes, there is no hulking bouncer telling you that you can't go past "here" and no physical illness or injury standing in our way.  Sometimes, it is just our way of thinking that causes us to stumble.

I'd like to present you with three people who didn't let their thoughts get in the way.

Gpa's Upright Base

First, is my Grandpa.  As you may have already read, "Gpa" passed away earlier this month.  My family is still mourning his loss and celebrating his life as we talk to each other.  One really cool memory I get to keep of Gpa's life, though, is the fact that he took up playing the upright bass in his retirement.  Apparently, Gpa had played instruments in high school and really enjoyed music, but by the time he had grandkids, this part of his life was long past -- I didn't even know about his love of music.  Until.  

One day, Gpa comes home with this HUGE package.  He'd bought himself an upright bass.  While he and Gma were in Florida that winter, he set up the bass in the garage, took lessons and practiced regularly. Although Gpa never went on tour or even held a concert, he got such joy out of learning how to play the bass.  He didn't think that he was too old to learn, or that his hands may not have been spry enough to master the strings and chords.  He just went ahead and did it.  What a wonder memory and lesson to pass on to his whole family!

Courtesy of Ernestineshepherd.net

Second, I'd like to introduce you to Ernestine Shepherd.  Ernestine woke up twenty years ago, at the age of 54, and she was just sick.  Overweight, depressed, high blood pressure, panic attacks, and acid reflux.  If there was a part of her body that was healthy, she couldn't feel it.  That day, she and her sister, Mildred, were trying on swimsuits.  Like many women, it was a pretty depressing event.  Something in her snapped that day and she vowed to get her health on track.  

Twenty years later, the 5'3" Ernestine wakes up each more and runs 10 miles, before hitting the gym for pushups, pull-ups, and other strength training exercises -- to the amazement of her 80 year old husband, 53 year old son, and 14 year old grandson.  Ernestine is the Guinness World Record holder for the oldest female body builder.  And she looks AMAZING.  She didn't let thoughts about her age or her mobility or her previous health issues get in her way!

Third, maybe it's time for you to think like a little kid.  Six-year-old Isaac began learning to play the piano recently, and his Dad bought him a manuscript book (think of it like a music book, without the notes, so someone can write in their own music) on a whim, thinking it would be a while before he used it.  

Hattip: Reddit.com

The thing is, nobody told Isaac he was "too young" to write music.  So he decided to write a song.  He called it "Snakes Away."  Being a proud but not musically gifted, his father crowd-sourced the song to the internet, and musicians responded.  There are now several versions and remixes of "Snakes Away" for everyone to share in.  When Isaac woke up the next morning and his dad played him his song, Isaac was ecstatic. "[He] is dancing around like a madman!" said his father.  

You can listen to some of my favorite versions of his song here and here. 

As you start your week this week, take a moment to pause and think if you are letting any of your limiting THOUGHTS get in the way of your own dreams.  What would it feel like to let go of that thought and try for your dream?

Believe it - Achieve it!

TGIF: Jessica Brown

TGIF:

This Goal Is Finished

Good morning achievers! Hope you've had a wonderful week!

If this is your first time on our website, welcome. Velocity is about helping you find and achieve your passion through personal goal setting. You can find out more about us by clicking on any of these links.

You can sign up for our weekly inspirational newsletter or a complimentary coaching session by clicking on the buttons to the right.

If you are inspired by reading our achiever interview below and want to get on the achievement bandwagon, sign up for our next Goal Setting Workshop on June 4, 2011 in Washington, DC.

I (Jaime) am SO PROUD to announce this week's Achiever, Jessica Brown. Jessica and I met seven years ago while she was a high school student. In the past seven years, I've watched Jessica graduate from high school 13th in her class and go on to have an amazing college career. Despite all of the obstacles she encountered (and there were a lot!), she never gave up on her dream of graduating from college. I was so honored to be able to attend her graduation ceremony earlier this month. Read all about Jessica's goal & story below!

The Achiever

Photo by Demi Olubanwo

I am Jessica Brown, a 23 year old woman from Washington D.C. I am the product of of the DCPS inner city school system, and a first generation college graduate. I recently graduated from North Carolina State University with a degree in Biological Sciences and two minors, one in Health Medicine and Human Values, and one in Spanish. I am a advocate for my community and communities like mine, and a believer in the power of service. I am a daughter, sister, aunt, godmother, student, scientist, future doctor, leader, community server, best friend, and so much more.

The Goal

I wanted to be the first one in my family to graduate from college.

Why This Goal?

A college education open doors and presents opportunities. I have chosen to serve my community as a health care provider and in order to fulfill this goal, I must first graduate from college.

The First Step

First, I had to apply and get in to a university and find funding. But it wasn’t that as simple as it sounds. The college application process & financial aid process was foreign to me and everyone around me, so I needed to find someone that could answer my questions. So really, my first step was to swallow my pride and ask for help.

Challenges

Applying to school had to be the most frighting and time consuming task that I had ever done. Being the first in my family to take this journey I did not have guidance from them in this process. Having to ask questions and be open with people that I was not comfortable with was difficult to me, but school was too important to let a silly thing like pride get in my way so I did what I had to do.

Once I was accepted to North Carolina State University (Wolfpack Pride!) and had financial aid worked out, the next challenge was staying in college. I came in freshman year with the mindset that many freshmen with good high school grades have --all A’s are the only option! My optimistic spirits were crushed in the first semester. I studied hard, but struggled to keep up with my course load of homework. I ended up failing my Calculus class and barely passing my other sciences classes. I was devastated. I just knew I was done! I had given it my all and still failed. Even though I was ready to pack my bags and head back home, I could never completely give up because too many people were rooting for me to succeed.

So I went back to square one, asking for help. I asked for help from my professors, from my tutors, my peers, and from anyone that I thought would be a useful resource. I changed my major from Engineering (what was I thinking!!) to Biological Sciences, which suited me better. I began experiencing success, pulling my GPA back up, but never to my original hopes of all A's. I began liking, no loving, my college experience.

Once I had the hang of college and was confident in my abilities to perform in my classes, I decided that I needed to get involved on campus and within the community around campus. So I took on a few leadership roles in organizations on campus. While in college, I

• volunteered in the hospital and clinics in the community,
• became an orientation counselor, and a symposium counselor,
• became a peer-mentor,
• acted as the president of an organization,
• was on Alternative Spring Break teams,
• did several study abroad trips,
• worked two jobs,
• started a new on-campus organization, and
• handle personal and family issues.

I barely slept or ate and I BURNED MYSELF OUT! In my junior year, because I was so busy, I experienced another plummet to my GPA and an even bigger plummet to my confidence. I was so close to the end, so I couldn't give up then. I received some great advice to SLOW DOWN and focus on my goals. Which is exactly what I did -- I really reduced my involvement on campus to focus again on my studies, which allowed me to complete my goal.

Staying Motivated

My family was, is, and will remain a huge motivation for me. Seeing them believe in my abilities and dreams more than their own kept me focused, even when things seemed too much. I wanted to show my family that we are destined for great things and that the sacrifices of the generations before me are paying off.

My little sister and niece in particular are huge motivators for me, because I knew that my success would trickle down to them. If I was able to graduate from college, it would be more of an reality for them -- I could show them its possible.

When school seemed like too much and I began convincing myself that there was something else for me out there, I would remember my little sister’s Kala’s visit to my university. She was so excited to be on a college campus with her big sister and I knew that I had that my become a motivator for her success.

I also surrounded myself with people that believed in me, that pushed me where i did not think I could go, and who also knew my life goals and could remind me why I needed college to get where I wanted to be.

Who Helped?

My mentor Jaime Willis was very instrumental in achieving my goal. Not only was she a constant motivator in my life and believed in me beyond my own capacity, she was a major resource! She helped me through the entire process, from applying to school and finding scholarships, to staying in school and dealing with the craziness of life, and finally to graduating and applying to graduate school. Jaime Willis has been a person that I could count on through out this entire process.

Also I used the resources that my school provided, and sometimes over used them if I must. If I had even a slight problem with my financial aid, I was constantly in their office talking with Mr. Tony Patterson, my financial aid counselor, who willingly took care of all my concerns.

If I had difficulties with my classwork, I would use the Undergraduate Tutorial centers, or visited my professors.

If I had any problem or concern about anything, I would seek out the person that can get it resolved, and would not hesitate to go as far as the university Chancellor if I had to.

So I used all people and resources available to me: my family, friends, and everyone at my University that could help me in my journey.

TGIF – Celebrate!

Once I was done with my last classes and sure that I was cleared for graduation, I invited everyone that I loved to come celebrate with me! I thanked all that helped me along the way, and began working towards my next goal.

Advice

For someone coming from my background and starting the overwhelming process towards being a college graduate, I advise you to seek help when needed and take help when given. I would not have been able to do this alone.

Being the first to graduate college means that your family is just as new to the process as you are, and, although they will offer their support and encouragement, they will not have the inside scoop. I found someone with the inside scoop from the very beginning and I avoided opportunities for failure and enjoyed situations of success because of their insight.

Also constantly remind yourself why you have chosen to go to college, because it will not be easy. Especially when you have come from a background that did not necessary prepare you for the challenge. You must disregard the thoughts of doubt and know that you are capable of succeeding because in reality we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

What’s Next?

My ultimate goal for my educational career is to complete medical school and become a medical doctor. But my life goal is to use my skill to serve my community and communities like mine by educating people about and providing health care.

Currently, I am working full time as a research assistant in a Food Science lab at North Carolina State University, I am also studying for the MCAT and applying to medical schools and public health programs. If you are an admissions counselor of a graduate medical program, I'd love to hear from you!

The Price You Pay For Success

-by Matt Leedham

“The price for anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”
- Henry David Thoreau

It can be difficult when you are in the “swamp.” That’s the place of origin of something unfamiliar or new. The “swamp” is the place you start when working toward a new goal. It’s a place of murky water, muddy ground, and a quagmire of resistance.

I’m currently in the swamp.

As our regular readers may recall, I set a fairly aggressive goal a few months ago. I committed, publically to the world, that I would be conversational in Korean by October of 2011. As most of you know, or might conclude, I’m not Korean. I have no previous knowledge of Korean other than “hello” and “thank you.” To be conversational was quite the mammoth goal to set.

As it turns out, learning Korean is not easy. Crazy, right?!

It’s true. It’s difficult, and here’s why:

1. The alphabet is not Roman/Latin – it consists of symbols entirely unique to the Western world.
2. The Korean language is known as an SOV language (Subject Object Verb), which is essentially the opposite of English. Meaning, each sentence is spoken “backwards.”
3. There is a particular syllable in Korean that is almost unpronounceable. Seriously, it’s insanely difficult for Americans to pronounce.

As a competitive person that is a self-described high-achiever, not being good at something is very difficult to accept. But as it turns out, you must first be terrible at something before you can be good at it. Here’s a quote from Jaime’s post a few months ago about failing without giving up:

“Here’s the thing – you have to suck first before you get to be good at something. There is no cheat code in life. There is no movie montage through the difficult training that happens first. You literally have to slog through each and every day of being bad at something in order to get good at it.”

In fact, we know that there are no prodigies either. It’s not like it’s possible to be awesome at Korean right away, and I just don’t have the talent. No, even the most talented language learner needs to walk the long path of learning.

The problem lies in my ego. It’s embarrassing to be so terrible at something. I want to impress people with my skills but I just sound ridiculous now. Ego can hold you back in so many ways. It’s another form of judgment. I’m judging the process, I’m judging myself, and I’m judging what others will think of me.

I’ve learned that the quicker I can release those judgments the easier and more enjoyable learning a new skill becomes. I can be proud of my (incremental) progress, and I can appreciate the process of learning because it is so difficult.

In six months when I am actually speaking Korean, I will learn to appreciate this even more. I can tell the story of my “movie montage” through the difficult times. But only I will know how difficult it was and how much focus I needed to slowly become better and better.

Being bad at something is uncomfortable. Failure is uncomfortable. But successful people learn to become very comfortable at this stage. It’s their persistence that is the only difference between ultimate success and failure.

Weekly Wednesday Inspiration #16

-By Jaime Willis

Made by Erin Cooper of www.pippinandpearl.com

Buyer's Remorse

-by Matt Leedham

Do you ever experience buyer’s remorse? It’s that dreadful feeling after you’ve purchased something that maybe you shouldn’t have. Or when you feel that you may have overpaid for something.

The problem with buyer’s remorse is that most people wallow in regret. That’s a dangerous place to spend your time if you’re trying to avoid negativity.

Simple example: This weekend my wife and I went to a housewarming for my brother and sister-in-law. We stopped by a Korean bakery and picked up a number of items, including two cakes. We were running a little late, so it was a quick transaction. As we’re getting into the car, my wife says, “oh no.” When I inquired what was the matter, she informed me that we just spent $40 on a 10-inch sweet potato cake.

Immediate Reaction: Buyer’s remorse!

Ongoing Reaction: Regret. The next 5 minutes in the car was about regretting the purchase.

Mental Intervention: How can you flip this on its head? We’re not going to return the cake. That’s just silly. So, the money has been spent and there’s no getting it back. The only option is to enjoy the HECK out of this cake! From that point on, I couldn’t wait to share this “golden” cake with everyone, and personally savor every last bite.

Result: We chuckled about it the rest of the way in the car. And we imagined how delicious the cake would be. Plus, it was the nicest cake they have – how appropriate for a joyous celebration of someone’s new house!

In the End: The sweet potato cake was consumed in seconds upon cutting it up. It was a hit! And we REALLY enjoyed our slice. J

What's your Korean sweet potato cake right now? How can you flip your situation on its head? Remember, everything is a choice. There are no mistakes, only choices. And you can choose to define something as good or bad. There are many ways to look at the same thing, so why not choose a positive, optimistic perspective?

Start Acting!

-By Jaime Willis

"Contemplation often makes life miserable. 

We should act more, think less, and stop watching ourselves live."- Chamfort

Over the next few months, I am working on streamlining and simplifying my life.  Mostly by getting rid of stuff I don't need -- I spend way too much time worrying about picking up stuff, washing stuff, dusting stuff, putting stuff away when I could spend more time enjoying life.  

Not my books, but about the same amount. 

The first project I decided to tackle was my book collection.  I have thousands of books.  21 feet of  3-foot tall shelving in my apartment, filled and double-stacked with books.  I love books.  But, with all the technology available to me today, I don't need to keep that many books.  If I lived in a nice-sized home, I'd love to have a library.  But I live in a small apartment and books are taking over.

When you love books like I do, you realize how tough a job it is to cull your book collection.  You want the people who get your books to appreciate them the same way you did.  Which is why I decided to donate almost all of my books to a local high school.  Woodson High School students are moving into a brand new building next year, but the library is going to look pretty bleak -- they only have about 1,500 books for the entire building!  The librarian was ecstatic to hear about the number of books I was able to donate.  

As I was going through my books (my goal was to get rid of 90% of my collection), every time I was tempted to keep a book, I thought about a student at that school getting a chance to read that story for the first time.  That was enough for me to keep donating.  In the end, I have packed up 13 boxes of books for the high school, 4 more boxes for donation elsewhere, and am left with two not-full 6-foot shelves of books.  

This simplifying thing is something I have been thinking about for a while.  But, just like the quote above says, sometimes you need to stop thinking and start DOING.  

Think about a project that you have had on your mental to-do list forever.  Is there something you can DO to get that project started?  Do it.  Today. This Week.  Stop Waiting.  Start Doing.  

"Don't Wait.  The time will never be just right."

-Napoleon Hill

TGIF: Heather McDaniel

TGIF:

This Goal Is Finished

Good morning achievers! Hope you've had a wonderful week!

If this is your first time on our website, welcome. Velocity is about helping you find and achieve your passion through personal goal setting. You can find out more about us by clicking on any of these links.

You can sign up for our weekly inspirational newsletter or a complimentary coaching session by clicking on the buttons to the right.

If you are inspired by reading our achiever interview below and want to get on the achievement bandwagon, sign up for our next Goal Setting Workshop on June 4, 2011 in Washington, DC.

The Achiever

Today’s TGIF achiever is Heather McDaniel. Heather first crossed my path, quite literally, a few weeks ago (this is Matt). While visiting good friends, Jim and Amy, I saw Heather running down the street. But there was something quite unique about this runner (read more below). The unique thing that attracted me to Heather in first place turns out to be only one very unique thing about her.

After leaving Jim and Amy’s place, I couldn’t stop thinking about the runner that I saw. I asked my friends for help – if they saw this runner again I needed them to stop her and get her phone number. I needed to speak with her.

A couple of weeks later, I sat down with Heather at a Starbucks in Arlington and interviewed her. It was an honor and a privilege to spend time with this persistent woman and find out a little more about what motivates her. I hope you learn as much from Heather as I did!

My name is Heather McDaniel and I’m a 45 year old, very determined, very active woman living in Arlington, VA. I have a beautiful daughter and grandson in the area that I enjoy spending time with.

I am also visually impaired. There are many different levels of visual impairment, or legal blindness. My visual impairment includes total blindness in my left eye, and vision in my right eye of 20/2400. What this means is that the smallest letter I can see at 20 feet, could be seen by a normal eye at 2,400 feet. I was born with congenital glaucoma which was mostly under control until things got much worse in my early 30’s, resulting in 23 eye surgeries and much of my vision loss.

But as you can see below, I don’t let that hold me back from living an active lifestyle!

The Goal

My goal was to continue to stay physically active by running despite my visual impairment. For me, this means going for a run 5-6 times per week, at distances of 4-6 miles.

Why This Goal?

Running was always important to me. Even at a young age, I loved to run. I’ve run off and on for over 30 years, and I don’t ever want to stop.

I also want to show the world that just because you have an impairment, it doesn’t mean you have to slow down in life. I’ve heard so many people say (or yell out to me on the street), “don’t run, walk!” From the first time I heard that until now, I feel very strongly about proving others wrong about my ability. I don’t want the world to tell me what to do.

Maybe I’m a bit eccentric…J

The First Step

When my vision got significantly worse in my early 30’s, I desperately wanted to stay active. I began to do Thai Chi. This really helped me get through the hard times and relieve the stress related to being disabled.

In fact, Thai Chi also helped me get through the pain. I was experiencing very severe pain during and after all of my eye surgeries – it felt like someone was constantly punching me in the face. I didn’t want to over-medicate and use steroids too much for my pain, so staying active and increasing my intensity over time was an important step in getting started. When I think back on staying active in the beginning, I realize that I needed that SO much.

Challenges

As you can imagine, I’ve had my fair share of obstacles. Sometimes roads have unexpected bumps and cracks in them, or cars are parked in interesting places. I would have to find new routes, or ask for directions.

Aside from these physical challenges, I lot of people tell me I can’t or shouldn’t run. They tell me to slow down or to walk. They say that I’m going to lose the rest of my sight if I run. They say that I’m too thin and should slow down. Because I now run with a cane, people feel the need to help me.

In fact, one day after running in Arlington, VA, a woman stopped me at the bus station. She wanted to pray for me right then and there. She wanted to put her hands on my eyes and pray for a miracle. I said, “look, I’ve had to accept my disability and persevere in spite of it. My sight is gone and that’s a fact. But you can pray that the carbohydrates don’t go to my hips.” I didn’t mean to be rude, but I’ve learned to live with who I am. I’m visually impaired. It is what it is. She was as lost as I would be in a jazzercise class.

I don’t like when people try to stop me from running. I don’t need to be protected. People’s intentions are good but they need to be educated.

Running with a cane is an indirect way of educating people. I find that 95% of people are impressed and just want to ask questions, but the others just don’t understand a thing about visual impairment. Running is my little way of providing the public with sensitivity training.

Nature has given me physicality and so I want to use it. It feels good to inspire people and to show them that they don’t need to let anything hold them back.

Staying Motivated

At first, I exercised a lot in my room w/ hand weights and body bands. After awhile, though, that’ll make you claustrophobic. So, I joined the YMCA which got me out of the house. That kept me motivated to keep going because it was a new challenge. At the YMCA, I helped with an exercise class called Silver Sneakers for older adults and people with all sorts of impairments and disabilities. That was good for me to be involved in and kept me going.

Just like for any athlete, making progress in your physical achievements is a great motivation. In my neighborhood, I used to walk down steeper hills because it’s not safe to charge into something that is unfamiliar to you. After walking down the hills a few times, I started to pick up some visual cues. Then I started focusing on tactile cues – things I could feel through my feet and legs. Then I got used to what it feels like to run downhill. Now I can run down familiar hills just like anyone else!

Who Helped?

There have been a lot of great people that influenced me and kept me going. My father, Jim McDaniel, has been a great support for me. He is one of the most determined people I know. When I was young, he would call me Tiger, because I was so driven like him. My daughter is the same way – I am very proud of her. My late Grandmother, Ethel McDaniel, was also a great inspiration to me. I guess it runs in the family!

The ENDependence Center of Northern Virginia (ECNV) is a great resource. It’s called “ENDependence” because they help end dependence of people with disabilities to create more independence within society. They helped me obtain housing recently in an environment that allows me to be much more active. They also provide peer counseling and other resources.

A local component of ADA provides complementary paratransit service for the DC Metro area by way of the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority (WMATA). This local affiliate helped me gain more access to public transportation. They also provided me access to a Travel Training Instructor who has been very helpful in ensuring that I can safely use public transportation to stay active.

TGIF – Celebrate!

Occasionally I’ll treat myself to some new fitness clothes because if feels good to be in shape and healthy. But really, what I love to do when I keep getting out there and achieving my physical goals is to celebrate by helping others. Not only do I enjoy helping others with disabilities stay active, but I’ll make sure my daughter and grandson have everything they need – like school supplies, toys, or just some shopping money. If feels good to be healthy and fit, but it feels great to give to others!

Advice

Well, first of all, it’s definitely important to see your doctor, get a physical, and make sure you are in a position to be active.

Also, whatever piece of mobility equipment you need – such as a cane or sunglasses, or special shoes – take it along with you. Don’t be afraid, shy, or intimated by using these tools, especially if it’s going to keep you safe and healthy.

One day, a bunch of construction guys gave me one of their brightly colored vests with reflectors on it. I was a little hesitant to accept it and use it at first, but then I realized that it’s really helping to protect me and keep me safe. Whatever it is, take it with you. Don’t worry about how you’ll look or what people will think of you.

Remember, you only live once. Why sit back? You’re the only one that’s going to take you from point A to point B. I feel empowered now by using public transportation. Same goes for running.

Whatever your goal is, do it for yourself.

What’s Next?

My next goal is to find employment. I’m currently job hunting right now. This goal is really important to me because no one wants to spend their life just taking benefits from others without trying to provide for themselves. I mean, there are resources out there to assist me and I appreciate and use them when I need them, but I don’t want to depend on those resources for my entire living. It feels good to work hard and provide for yourself.

Included in this goal is getting re-certified as a personal trainer. That would provide me a great sense of pride and allow me to do something that both earns money and keeps me active.

And finally, I’ve only lived in my current house for 9 weeks, so I want to continue to get settled and learn the area. There is so much to learn about where to go, how to get around, and all of the new people I’ve been fortunate enough to meet.

Invictus

-by Matt Leedham

It’s a good morning for some hardcore poetry.

Hardcore poetry, you ask? That’s quite the oxymoron, you may be saying to yourself.

Well, let’s first take a poem by William Ernest Henley, written in 1875 from his hospital bed in England:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

You may be familiar with some parts of this of this poem, particularly the end, as it has been featured in both the 1942 film Casablanca, and the 2009 film Invictus. The poem, written by William Ernest Henley, did not actually have a name for many years until 12 years after it was first published. It was included in a book of poems and given the title “Invictus.” The word ‘invictus’ is Latin for ‘unconquerable,’ in which you can clearly see the root of words like victory and victorious.

In 2011, this style of poem may not be as popular as it was in the late 19^th/early 20^th century, particularly in England. Indifference to pain and suffering and demonstrating stoicism were the order of the day, and so this poem resonated with the British people.

What I find today is that we may need this kind of slap in the face every once in awhile. Maybe we’re getting a little soft. There’s a time to talk things out and commiserate about our pain and suffering, and there are times to plow through and be defiant in the face of it!

Ultimately, this poem is not about stoicism, but rather about self-mastery. It professes that no matter the situation, no matter the circumstance, no matter the real or perceived pain, YOU are in control. And you will always be in control.

I will end with a very short, but extremely hardcore poem, by D.H. Lawrence. It’s also about self-mastery. You may be familiar with the poem for a number of reasons, but it was also featured in a major motion picture, 1997’s GI Jane, and has been previously featured in our blog or on our Facebook page.

Self Pity

I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.

You are in control. You are in control of how today will turn out. You are in control of how you interact with the world.

You are unconquerable.

Weekly Wednesday Inspiration #15

-By Jaime Willis

This video rocks. And not just because I *heart* apple.

If you are looking for a posterchild for someone truly living their Five Star Life, look no further than Jon Morrow. Seriously, read this post.

"I was sitting in my pathetic apartment, wrapped up in blankets to keep warm, trying to get some work done on the computer, when it struck me how monumentally stupid it was. ... Why on Earth was I living in this hellhole?" The rest of the story - awesome and inspiring!

Have a wonderful Wednesday, kids!

Are You the Gas or the Brake?

-by Matt Leedham

I saw a great commercial last night that made me chuckle. So of course, it ends up making an appearance here.

“In life, you’re either the gas or the brake.

Which one are you?”

This can be a fun metaphor to examine to see if you’re making the most of your experiences. Whether you tend to be the gas or the brake more often in your life is not important - don't get hung up on the definitions. What is important is understanding how happy you are with the choices you make.

If being “the brake” is causing you stress or holding you back, it’s time to break out of the mold. Here’s how we would define being “the brake”:

• Reacting rather than PROacting (yes, I just made up a word)
• Allowing fear to dictate your decisions
• Adhering to pre-conceived labels of who you are
• Ignoring well-established habits that hold you back

Being “the gas” is usually more fun. Here’s how we would define being “the gas”:

• Allowing positivity and optimism guide your plans
• Trying new things simply to experience them
• Continuing to examine yourself so as to not be “boxed in” by labels and definitions
• Laugh a lot and enjoy the ride!

Don’t get me wrong. There are times in your life to be prudent, responsible, and risk averse. This is not a permission slip to be reckless!

Just get out there and have some fun. Enjoy life and make the most of it!

Choose Your Own Adventure

-By Jaime Willis

Jaime and Jessica, the newest NC State Graduate!

After a wonderful weekend down in Raleigh, North Carolina watching my mentee graduate from college (woot!) and catching up with a friend, I drove home on Sunday morning. When I got into DC, the weather was gorgeous -- 82 degrees and beautifully sunny.

Choose: Do you scrap your plans to work inside on your computer and go for a run?

I chose to go for a run. Got together my running gear, which hasn't been used in a while, sadly, and headed out the door. I walked and ran another 10k, but when I finished, I was still a mile and a half from home.

Choose: Do you take the bus home or use the extra mileage to walk out your sore muscles?

I chose to walk home, even though the rain clouds were getting more and more ominous by the second.

Choose: Now you are back at the house and sweaty. Do you take a shower or do messy chores first?

I chose to take out the trash and change the kitty litter before cleaning up. And here is where the story gets adventurous. The sky opened up just as I was getting my recycling into the cans outside. I was quickly soaked, so I just continued to put out the trash. Then I notice that the water outside isn't draining, but is instead fountaining down the basement steps into the well of the basement, and INTO MY APARTMENT.

Choose: Do you freak out and get angry that the basement is flooding or do you try to mitigate the damage?

Rainwater pooling into basement well.

I ran back into the house and threw down towels to try to stem the tide of water. I grabbed my wet vac, plugged it in and was able to contain the water to the back hallway of my house, so nothing other than the floor got wet & waterlogged. The rain stopped just minutes after it had begun and I continued to vacuum up water until the vacuum stopped working.

Choose: Do you angrily pout or do you continue to try to solve the problem?

I am not going to lie, things got tense at this stage of the game. After trying a few quick fixes for the vacuum, I determined that either the filter needed to be replaced or the vacuum was dead & I needed a new one. I checked that home depot was still open and ran down there.

Choose: Do you buy just the filter or do you buy a new vacuum?

Obviously, I need a little more skill on creating sandbag
barriers, as this didn't work at all.

I chose to do both. I knew if the filter worked, I could return the vacuum, but if it didn't work and I didn't have another vacuum, I would be furious and home depot would be closed, so I wouldn't be able to do anything else until the next morning. When I returned to the house, the filter replacement worked, and I was able to get all the excess water and clean up outside. I then bleach-mopped the floors where the water spilled in, returned everything to it's rightful place and started washing the soaked towels.

Choose: Do you spend the rest of the evening angry that your evening was derailed by this emergency or are you grateful it wasn't worse?

After a shower, I felt so LUCKY. On the weekends, I am frequently out of town, so I can only imagine what would have happened if I weren't home when the flooding started. Even better, I was *outside* and saw the flooding before it even reached my back door, so I was able to mitigate & slightly control what got flooded in the apartment. I was grateful that Home Depot was still open in my neighborhood at 7pm on a Sunday evening, so I could get the replacement parts I needed to continue repairing the problem. I was grateful that this happened on Sunday, before a week of rainy weather predicted for DC, so I could call my landlords and have them snake the outdoor drains before more rain comes.

Yes, it was annoying that my apartment flooded, but so many things went RIGHT about the flooding, that it was the best possible way to have a bad situation like that happen. I went to bed last night satisfied, remembering that my weekend was almost all great stuff, and slept well. What would you have done -- go to bed angry or go to bed happy?

Matt and I have said over and over again how important it is to CHOOSE your attitude, to ACT instead of REACT, and to limit your negativity about a situation. Think about the last emergency you had to deal with -- could you have made different choices?

TGIF: Marlena McLean

TGIF:

This Goal Is Finished

Good morning achievers! Hope you've had a wonderful week!

If this is your first time on our website, welcome. Velocity is about helping you find and achieve your passion through personal goal setting. You can find out more about us by clicking on any of these links.

You can sign up for our weekly inspirational newsletter or a complimentary coaching session by clicking on the buttons to the right.

If you are inspired by reading our achiever interview below and want to get on the achievement bandwagon, sign up for our next Goal Setting Workshop on June 4, 2011 in Washington, DC.

Today’s TGIF achiever is Marlena McLean. Marlena comes to us from New Jersey and is avid reader and supporter of both Velocity and everyone that has shared their story with us on Fridays. We love featuring our biggest fans and are SUPER proud of her recent accomplishment. Check out Marlena’s story below!

The Achiever

My name is Marlena McLean. I am a social worker, but I am currently fortunate enough to be caring for my beautiful daughter full time. I also serve as the treasurer for a non-profit charitable organization created by family and friends in memory of my brother-in-law, Jim McLean. The organization raises money to award an annual scholarship to a graduating scholar athlete from our alma mater high school (www.mcleanscholarship.org).

The Goal

My goal was to run the Long Branch Half Marathon in Long Branch, New Jersey on May 1, 2011, preferably in less than two and a half hours.

Why This Goal?

I chose this goal, because I wanted to challenge myself and it was important to me to have a personal goal outside of being a parent. About six months ago, I began to run consistently as a means of improving my physical fitness and allotting myself personal time a few days a week. Prior to signing up for the half marathon, I had run two 5ks. I found that having those races scheduled motivated me to workout regularly. Two days prior to registering for the half marathon I had watched my husband, Justin, successfully complete his goal of running in the New York City Marathon. Watching Justin train and run the race was very inspiring. I wanted to experience the pride and happiness he emanated for days after he ran NYC.

This goal was also very important to me, because, in junior high school, I enjoyed running competitively. As a self-conscious teen, I gained confidence from running. Due to ongoing knee issues, I stopped running in high school. Since then, multiple professionals told me I could/should not run, because of my knee problems. I believe that anything is possible and I wanted to prove to myself that it was possible for me to run.

The First Step

The first step was to have the courage to sign up for the race. While this sounds simple, it was a big step for me. It meant that I was admitting that I would be capable of completing a half marathon. It also meant that I was committing to the training over the next six months.

Challenges

One obstacle I faced was finding the time to run. I feel that running with my daughter in the stroller compromises my running form, which meant I had to wait for my husband (or sometimes my mom) to get home from work so I could run. Scheduling specific days in which I was to run made it harder for me to back out of a run at 8 or 8:30 at night.

Injury (two, in fact) presented another obstacle. A foot injury prevented me from running in December. A hamstring injury sidelined me from about mid-February until mid-March. I began going to physical therapy for my injuries (if anyone in Central NJ needs an excellent physical therapist, I highly recommend Ric Costa at MARA Physical Therapy in Warren!). I tried to stay positive and began swimming to maintain my cardiovascular health.

Doubt was an obstacle I faced at times, especially when I was injured and unable to run as much as called for by my training program. Discussing my doubts with my husband often gave me perspective on my concerns and left me feeling encouraged. Recognizing that whatever pain or obstacle I was currently experiencing would not last forever encouraged me to move forward with my goal. Velocity’s Facebook posts also encouraged me. I remember experiencing a significant amount of hamstring pain on a run one month prior to the race. I felt very discouraged and I told my husband I was not sure that I would be able to run the half marathon. The next day I read Velocity’s T.G.I.F. about Irene Vatandoost’s recent success in completing a half marathon. Reading Irene’s post was very inspiring to me as she discussed doubts, obstacles, and fears similar to mine. In her post, Irene discussed concern about having to walk near the end of the half marathon (Congratulations to Irene who was able to run the entire race!). This may sound silly, but I remember thinking in that moment that it had not occurred to me that I could walk any of the race. Shortly thereafter I decided that I would be completing the half marathon whether I had to run, walk, or crawl!

Staying Motivated

I tried to keep my eye on the goal, and envision how proud of myself I would feel finishing a half marathon. On days when I did not feel like running, I reminded myself how good I feel when I am done with a run. I also reminded myself of something my husband said to me once: “The race is today.” Remembering that each run I completed was a step towards my ultimate goal was motivational to me.

Who Helped?

There were many external factors that contributed to my success. The most influential person was my husband, Justin. He believed in my ability to run a half marathon, before I even believed in myself. Justin helped me with a training plan and he provided me with a tremendous amount of encouragement along the way. He also adjusted his schedule, at times, so that he could stay with our daughter while I ran.

My mom also provided me with an incredible amount of support. She shared in my excitement and believed in my abilities from the start. She never doubted my ability to run the half marathon, despite my injuries. My mom also helped with childcare.

My weekly yoga class helped me physically, as well as mentally, by encouraging a positive outlook on all things, including my running. The concept of Chi Running allowed me to run without knee pain. I received very helpful advice and support from ChiRunning Coach, David Stretanski . David helped me make changes to my running form to prevent re-injury to my hamstring.

TGIF – Celebrate!

I got my medal and looked for my family at the finish line! I was thrilled! I also took some time to reflect back on the past year and the progress I had made.

Advice

When completing any goal, I think the most important step is to believe in yourself. I also think it helps to break down the goal into steps and to be patient with progress. I recommend developing a support system. While I always ran alone, talking to others about my running was helpful. I also found running “support” by reading various running websites, books, etc. Logging my training helped to keep me on task and allowed me to review my progress. Changing how I viewed success and failure also helped me achieve my goal. Initially, I defined success as completing the half marathon, but the day before the race I realized I had already succeeded by signing up for the race and training for it, despite some obstacles.

What’s Next?

I plan to keep running. I thoroughly enjoy the physical and mental challenges I experience with running. I will be running a 10k in June. I am also very excited to be running a half marathon with my husband in September!

Down Time

-by Jaime Willis

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

As regular readers, friends, and family know, my Grandfather passed away last week. I have spent the last seven days in Michigan both mourning and celebrating my Grandpa's life. Please accept my sincere thanks and gratitude for all of the assistance and support you have given me over the last week -- I truly appreciated every comment, email, text, and check in phone call. Special thanks go to my Velocity partner, Matt, for holding down the fort online and 'in real life' while I was gone.

As I packed my bags yesterday and began the trek home -- car to plane to bus to metro to bus -- my stress level started to rise thinking of all of the projects waiting for me at home.

• The 10K's I need to make up running over the next few weeks.
• The triathlon training I need to begin (again) in earnest.
• The laundry and housework I left behind.
• The meetings I need to attend.
• The critical projects I need to finish.
• The classwork that needs to get done.
• The phone calls that need answering.
• The emails that need answering.
• The travel plans I have to make for a trip this weekend.

Photo by Sasha Wolff

So much work that needs to get done and so little time to do it. I know we've all felt the same coming back from any time off of work -- from vacation, from illness, from a death in the family. We feel guilty for being behind right out of the gate, we feel panicked from the sheer load of work, we feel an obligation to Get Things Done.

What if we simply allowed ourselves to breathe a bit? What if we chose not to get stressed about re-entering our lives and know that what needs to get done will get done? What if we stopped feeling guilty for taking time for ourselves?

As I flew home last night, I started to make lists in my head of all the work that needed to be done and all the errands that needed to be run. I would hit the ground running as soon as I keyed into my apartment and go - go - go. But just the idea of working on projects at 9pm at night sounded terrible and stressful. Instead, I spent the evening snuggling with my cats and catching up with my friends.

And this morning, I feel GREAT about that decision.

I know that there are a lot of tasks on my plate and I know that I'll get them done. I am choosing to feel good about my down time, not guilty. I am choosing to accept that I am not a robot and need time to transition back into my daily routine -- and that is OK.

Feeling guilty or stressed about my workload does nothing to help me get stuff done, so why bother with the negativity? Why not feel great about the way I've chosen to schedule my life? I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to spend a week at home with family. I wouldn't have traded last week for any check on my to-do list. When I think of my time off that way, I am totally content with my schedule and choices.

I wonder how you would feel if you chose to be grateful instead of guilty, at peace instead of stressed? Try it and see!