Is Your Goal Really Your Goal?

- by Jaime Willis

"I want to be a billionaire so freaking bad," sings Travie McCoy in a very catchy radio tune.

Lots of us have lofty dreams like this, right? I want to be a millionaire. I want to own a Lear Jet. I want to get into Harvard Med School. I want to win an Oscar. I want to be on the Oprah show.

What I find fascinating is that very few of us ask ourselves WHY we want to have those things. When you drill down beyond the fluffy exterior of your dream to its core, you may be surprised at what you find.

Travie McCoy, for example, goes onto sing that he would use his billions to help Katrina victims, the hungry, and the less fortunate. The thing is, does McCoy have to have billions to do those things? Absolutely not! He could be helping rebuild New Orleans and feed the poor right now.

Back when I was teaching law school admissions test preparation, I actually spent a fair amount of time convincing my students *not* to go to law school. Not because law school is an inherently bad goal, but it just wasn't the right goal for them--they were doing it to make their parents happy, or to delay "real life" or because they were hoping to become rich (law school really isn't the road to wealth for most graduates anymore, sorry to burst your bubble).

The same principle applies to people who are obsessed with losing to a certain number on the scale. It's not the number that you are really aiming for--it's the feeling you get when you feel strong, healthy, and sexy, right?

When you are trying to figure out what goal(s) you are striving for, ask yourself what your motivation is for getting to that goal.

Is there any other way to get there? For example, "I want to get a law degree to help refugees gain asylum in the United States." Do you have to have the law degree to work for a non-profit or NGO that does just that?

Is your goal a goal or a means to another end? For example, "I want to be rich so I can travel more." Can't you figure out a way to travel without having to be "wealthy" first?

Don't limit your success by too narrowly defining what success looks like!

Is it a Dream or Is It a Goal?

- by Matt Leedham

“Vision without execution is hallucination.” – Albert Einstein

Albert speaks the truth although it may seem a little harsh to the un-indoctrinated. A lot of us think we have big goals in life, but are they really goals? Or are they dreams? And what’s the difference?

Dreams are lovely to think about. In many ways, it’s your mind’s way of playing. Set it loose and your mind will wander aimlessly most of the time, or down some specific path of some idea or fantasy you have about the future. Day-dreaming about what could be isn’t a bad thing at all and certainly has its place in developing big plans for our lives.

But a dream is not a goal. Goals can be executed. Dreams may come true.

How do you turn a dream into a goal so that it actually happens? Start with defining the dream.

Dreams tend to be vague and open-ended. This happens because our creative mind can’t be bothered with the details at the time. It’s also scary to commit to something so grand. Dreams tend to sound like this…
1. I want to start a business someday.
2. I want to lose weight.
3. I want to own a home.
4. I want to travel the world.
5. I want to spend more time with family and friends.
6. I want to write a book.


Let’s define one of these dreams. I am passionate about travel, so we’ll start there.

Dream: I want to travel the world.

Exercise: Fast forward your life 5 years from now and assume the dream had come true. What happened, what did it look like? What would have to happen, specifically, for you to look back and say, “yep, that definitely happened…I traveled the world.” Be as specific as possible – paint the picture. Where did you go? How much time did it take? How many countries/cities did you visit? Was it one big 6-month trip, or 10 trips taken twice a year for 5 years? Were you with someone while traveling? Did you meet people, or try new things? What exactly would you have to do to feel like you reached this vision?

Now, let’s design a goal based on the definition you just gave this dream.

Here’s an example: "I will travel to 10 countries on a least 4 continents by September 2015 and meet at least one person in each country that I stay in touch with via FaceBook, email, or Skype."

Now that’s a goal! How realistic it is depends on you. Variables include your priorities (note: see our post on personal values), your finances, your family, etc. If the sample goal is not realistic for you the way it is defined above, then redefine it to fit your circumstances.

Don’t just dream it, achieve it!

Elephant Complex

- by Jaime Willis

When captive circus elephants are young, their trainers shackle one of their legs to a heavy iron stake pounded deep into the ground to ensure that no matter how hard or how defiantly the young elephant struggles, he will not be able to escape. Years later, when the elephant has grown into his full strength and power, the trainer still holds him captive, but not with chain and an iron stake. The trainer can use simple rope and a wooden stake half-heartedly pushed into soft soil, and still the elephant will not escape. Why? The elephant is trapped by his mind, where his past experience has ingrained in him the futility of freedom. Even when freedom lies handily in his grasp, the elephant is held captive.

I have to encourage myself everyday to challenge my “elephant” mindset. Ripping myself free of the elephant mindset is a daily, hourly, minutely struggle. Every time I think “I can’t,” shying away from some activity I've always perceived as beyond me, I must consciously activate a stronger, louder voice that says “I CAN!” And be sure to follow it up with, “And if I can’t now, I have to keep trying!"

For me, the biggest challenge is continually push myself out of my comfort zone. To help keep this can-do attitude at the front of my mind, I’ve written myself a note on my bathroom mirror that says, “I AM SMART. I AM STRONG. I CAN DO IT!” I use it as a daily reminder to break free of my mental shackles—because I am no elephant, and I refuse to act like one.

I challenge everyone to be watchful of their own elephant mindset and to challenge it. Loudly. Daily. And unceasingly. Why?

Because you CAN!